Guest's unfinished food-do you ask?

[PamNY]

When asked about my own dietary restrictions - no beef or pork (generally moral reasons) or bell peppers, I will generally cheerfully offer to supplement dinner (particularly if it causes a problem). One of the toughest situations I have been put in lately was being served a plate of veal at a wedding reception. I ate as much as I could without become physically ill, and said nothing. I would have been somewhat embarassed to be asked about it.

I frequently offer to bring a dish as well, since I don't eat meat.

What a very difficult situation with the veal; I know even people who eat other forms of meat who won't touch it. That was a tough one.

[Blueberry]

I frequently offer to bring a dish as well, since I don't eat meat.

What a very difficult situation with the veal; I know even people who eat other forms of meat who won't touch it. That was a tough one.

That was definitely cultural - that's part of the reason I was as accommodating as possible. In the Groom's culture, it would be considered the highest/best thing they could have served. I just "filled up quickly" on the other stuff (each person was served 2 entrees + table salads + buffet appetizers + dessert).

[shootingstar]

To respond to the original inquiry - I think the guest behaved entirely appropriately.

Food was PUT on her plate - she didn't take too much and then fail to eat it. She ate as much as she could, leaving the parts she didn't like/didn't want. Bell peppers are one of the few foods I have trouble choking down - they trigger a very strong gag reflex, and I get very sick to my stomach if I eat them. I likely would have done the same, and move them around/left them on the side of the plate.

I was also surprised at the comment about how much desert she ate - she enjoyed it, there was plenty. She's apparently fit and generally healthy - why is that a big deal?

Blueberry, somewhere earlier in this thread I did admit I didn't ask her in advance when dividing food up on everyone's plate. This topic thread just has deviated into other exploratory corners, so might be hard to pick up that detail.

For religious restrictions of others, I find it easiest to include a veggie dish. It's always a safe bet --a veggie dish.

We've had visitors from outside of North America. Believe me, it's worked out fine ..even without knowing people's food preferences in advance. Usually they want to eat our food...because it's expensive/rarer to prepare in their home country similar dishes.

[Cataboo]

I think it would generally work fine to have guests from outside of north america. Most of them are exposed to a much wider variety of food/meat choices to begin with. The exception being the British, who are as bad as Americans

You go to an American super market, and your meat choices are cow, pig, chicken or turkey. If you look a bit and if it's fancier, you can find some veal, maybe some buffalo, quail, duck, or cornish hens. But the average american is exposed to eating cow, pig, chicken or turkey. Anything more exotic than that is strange - horse meat is normal in europe, most americans couldn't stomach eating horse meat, because that's dog food and horse are nice creatures you ride. But go into a european super market, you'll find horse, goat, ostrich, emu, antelope, venison, and various other african species, etc.

I'll admit to finding it vaguely annoying when I have friends that are picky eaters, but for the most part I know that it's a product of how they grew up. I feel really really sorry for them if we go to an asian restaurant and all they can do is order fried rice, because they know they like that. If I'm going out with those friends, I will go to a burger joint or something like that and get a salad. If I'm having them over, I'll order pizzas or I'll make spaghetti or I'll put the grill on and bbq some meat & burgers. My sister's daughter told me a month or so ago "My Mommy says you only know how to make spaghetti, but you're really good at that" and that's because - my sister & daughter = picky eaters, they get spaghetti with a meat sauce - they like it, it's easy for me to make and they can't annoy me too much by being picky with it. I will say that my sister's 8 year old who can be picky, does eat a lot of vegetables and blue cheese and such like that, that I wouldn't have touched when I was 8.

I have other friends that I know will eat anything that I eat, and we go to various ethnic restaurants all the time and I'll happily cook for them and enjoy the fact that they appreciate it. But they do tend to be foreign born or have foreign parents or to have done a lot of traveling.

Now my bf would claim I'm a picky eater, but it's more of a - there are times when I don't think it's worth the calories to eat something because I just don't like it that much and there are basic bits of food sanitation that I like to observe that he's pretty cavalier about. And I figure since he's a bf, I don't have to be polite anymore.

[shootingstar]

I feel really really sorry for them if we go to an asian restaurant and all they can do is order fried rice, because they know they like that. If I'm going out with those friends, I will go to a burger joint or something like that and get a salad. If I'm having them over, I'll order pizzas or I'll make spaghetti or I'll put the grill on and bbq some meat & burgers. My sister's daughter told me a month or so ago "My Mommy says you only know how to make spaghetti, but you're really good at that" and that's because - my sister & daughter = picky eaters, they get spaghetti with a meat sauce - they like it, it's easy for me to make and they can't annoy me too much by being picky with it. I will say that my sister's 8 year old who can be picky, does eat a lot of vegetables and blue cheese and such like that, that I wouldn't have touched when I was 8.

Maybe there's hope since she likes blue cheese. Seriously.
There IS value when a child is exposed in a casual, positive manner to other healthy food prepared and offered by extended family members --grandparents, aunts , uncles, etc.

I know my oldest niece and nephew wouldn't have had as great diversity in their taste for Asian food if they had not eaten other stuff from other family members, outside of their parents, which is not normally eaten at their home. It's important that adults themselves don't make a big deal how certain foods look (ew, ugh, etc.) unless it really is unhealthy.

Relook at your role, auntie. But take tiny steps in this area.

As for only eating fried rice in an Asian restaurant....yea, sad. Ignoring 1,000+ years of complex, amazing gastronomy. It's like having only French onion soup and ignoring the whole wonderful legacy of other French dishes.

[Zen]

The title of this thread made me think that the question you ask your guest is "May I finish your leftovers?" It's always a shame to throw out good food.

"You gonna eat that?"
My brain goes that way too

[badger]

I don't think you can blanketly say that picky eaters are a result of their upbringing.

My brother and I grew up in a mish-mash of cultures and was exposed to many different things. I usually liked to try different foods and surprised people when I liked things traditionally not liked by children (natto and salmon roe for starters).

My brother, on the other hand, was a PICKY eater. Didn't like this, didn't want to try that, etc etc. We couldn't be more different in terms of our tastes.

He did eventually "outgrow" his pickiness and he'll eat pretty much anything now. But he's got his payback; his elder daughter is just like he was and is super picky. I'd say in this case the pickiness is genetic!

[Cataboo]

You can't actually blanketly state anything about people in general. All stereotypes breakdown. I didn't mean to state it as an absolute vs. a trend.

[GLC1968]

I was the pickiest eater EVER when I was a kid. Not only have I never liked creamy things (I wouldn't even drink whole milk as a small child), but I hated all types of sauces. My mom would make me a plain pork chop when the family had BBQ'd chops. I would eat spaghetti with butter and garlic when the rest of the family had meat sauce. I'd wipe everything off my pizza and just eat the bread/crust (no joke). I hated jelly, and would only eat PB & Fluff and I hated all cheese except velveeta (which is so NOT cheese!). Anything fried with a coating? I'd wipe it off and eat what was on the inside (chicken, fish sticks, etc).

My brother couldn't have his food touching on his plate. All hell would break loose if his peas rolled into his noodles or something. We had a ton of little tiny bowls at our house!

We both outgrew it all. We are both normal eaters (with the exception of my creamy repulsion), so a picky child isn't necessarily doomed to be a picky adult.

[badger]

ha, my pickiness was related to meat. I've always had issues with meat, like fat or gristle, or anything that you bite in to and feel gross. I'd cut off all the fat, which my mother complained was half the meat, but it always grossed me out, and still does. Another thing that irked my mother endlessly was when I was always suspicious that my meat was undercooked. To this day she hates it when I inspect my food before I put it in my mouth.

I'm mostly vegetarian now (flexitarian?), I never buy meat at home. It's just simpler to avoid it and I never really liked the taste of meat anyways (except bacon and sausages...)

[rubywagon]

Nobody ever invites us over for dinner because we are vegetarians. Whats up with that? :P

[Crankin]

I was the pickiest eater imaginable, until I was well into my teens. When I was five, I had to be put on a diet to gain weight and get some, ah fiber into my body. I distinctly remember my mom sort of shoving a banana down my throat, along with some really gross, thick chocolaty stuff, that I think was for constipation... I had been living on white bread and butter/milk for months. My stomach always hurt and I was seriously underweight. Then I went through a phase where I just gagged on everything, when I was about eight. The smell of tuna fish made me nauseous and I don't think I ate a vegetable or crunchy fruit until I was 16.
Now I eat everything. I think when I was in college, I started eating more fruits and vegetables and ethnic stuff. My dad was in the wholesale food business at that time, and I often got to go to restaurant openings. Also, my mom always was an outstanding cook. There were never any mixes or prepared foods in my house. I learned to cook just from watching her.
I have never had bad "guest" experiences. I did a have a couple of friends who ate virtually nothing, because that was the only way they could maintain their weight. This was a long time ago; I do remember one sort of annoying me when she pushed the food around on her plate at a holiday dinner.
I had one kid who was just like me. He was in the 5th % for weight growing up. In some of the pictures from when he was around 3, he looks like a concentration camp survivor. Guess what? When got to high school, he had a lot of friends who were vegetarian. They exposed him to lots of stuff/restaurants and now he eats just about any ethnic cuisine. Still doesn't like crunchy veggies or fruit, though.

[HoosierGiant]

Nobody ever invites us over for dinner because we are vegetarians. Whats up with that? :P

Ditto.

[ny biker]

I was once invited to dinner by a friend who served pot roast. I cannot stand the taste pot roast. I'm also mostly-vegetarian in that I just don't like the flavor and/or texture of most meats. I do like most vegetables, and I love potatoes.

So I filled my plate with potatoes and vegetables and ate them all, even though they were infused with pot roast flavor. I never made a face or said anything about not liking the food.

My friend got really mad at me for not eating the pot roast.

We're not friends anymore.


A few months ago, one of my neighbors invited several people over for dinner and announced she was making paella. Most of the things in paella make me gag, so I lied and said I already had plans for that night.

I fully admit that I am a picky eater and yet some of the things I love are pretty strange combinations that I will never admit to in public. But I do my best to keep it to myself when I'm someone's guest.

BTW I get left out of dinner parties mostly because I'm single.

[Zen]

BTW I get left out of dinner parties mostly because I'm single.

They don't want you stealing their men