Guest's unfinished food-do you ask?

[shootingstar]

Yesterday evening we prepared a lovely dinner for a couple --friends we know reasonably well. They bike (though not yesterday), etc. She is a regular jogger and skier also. Conscious about eating certain foods vs. others. I knew she was not vegetarian but liked healthy dishes. No allergies. They have lived on the Northwest coast for last few decades so familiar with the local cuisines etc.

So we played it safe for supper and seafood with stirfried tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, ginger, etc. and abit of pasta. When removing the dirty dishes off the table for dessert, I asked if she didn't like peppers since she left behind nearly all the red and green peppers, plus pasta (light) on her plate. She said that at least she ate the mussels. She said she normally doesn't eat mussels.

If it's someone I know, I will ask for my own knowledge next time, to check if the guest didn't like a particular veggie/food especially if they left behind a whole lot of it uneaten.

Do you ask guests that you know well, to confirm that they don't like a certain food if they left behind a large amount of certain foods uneaten on their plate?

[KnottedYet]

No.

I ask all relevant questions before the dinner.

At the dinner, I keep my anxieties to myself as much as possible. Meals are like gifts in that once you give them to someone, what they do with it afterward is none of your business.

If I had a dinner guest who had barely eaten anything, I'd assume my cooking didn't agree with her. Rather than making her uncomfortable by putting her on the spot about why she ate so little, I'd make an open ended offer of another food option like "I was thinking of putting out a plate of sliced cheese and fruit for us all to nibble on with the coffee, do you think folks would like that?" If she didn't like the dinner and was still hungry, she can say "Yes" and fill up on cheese and fruit. If she just wasn't hungry that day, she could say "No" and no harm done, no-one embarrassed.

[shootingstar]

I only want to know in advance, if they have allergies, have significant problems digesting certain foods and if they are vegetarian. But then I usually have a dish (he isn't always around when I entertain my friends) that is suitable for vegetarians.

I actually don't like long catalogue lists of particular food dislikes from adult guests in advance. I just ask what they want when they are served food.

I will ask if people want the next certain dish and serve/not serve amounts accordingly.

And I rarely am asked in advance what my food preferences are. Partially because most people who know me, know I don't kick up a big fuss about food. I do try a broad range of food given to me....except they may know I can only have abit of wine for I get abit drunk..very fast. You're right, the dinner for guests is a gift..but a gift like any gift doesn't always please everyone every time.

NB. Despite her health consciousness, she stunned us by eating 2 huge bowls of melted bittersweet chocolate sauce with whipped creme over pears poached in honey and wine with spices.

[kermit]

I'm pretty open about the menu. I will let the guest know what is planned for dinner, for example, our good friend does not like seafood. Sometimes shrimp, but not fish or scallops. We just had them come down from Georgia and we asked, "what would you love to eat that you can't find at home"?. They will usually give us a rundown of what they like and don't like and we can work in what is seasonal down here and figure something out. We always do a cheese plate, some almonds, grapes, etc. The funny thing was he wound up loving our smoked fish dip!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Lots of people don't eat seafood and especially shellfish. It's best to ask.
If I'm cooking dinner for others, I always ask if people are vegetarians and if they have any foods they avoid eating.

[Librarygirl]

Maybe I'm really intolerant of people's fussiness, but I would be annoyed if I had a person over to dinner, made quite an effort (as it sounds like you did) to accommodate particular tastes and desires (ie healthy etc.) and they left behind large amounts of food for no good reason. It's one thing to not eat much and explain to the host/ess that you're just really not hungry or not feeling well, or to really not like one particular thing and leave it to the side, another thing entirely to leave most of the meal. Actually, I also think if a person REALLY doesn't like something, they should have the responsibility of letting the host know in advance

Some have said here to see the meal as a gift, well, I always express gratefulness for a gift and I think it comes across as quite ungrateful to not eat what is provided without at least explaining why. Would you just throw a gift that you were given, and didn't like, in the bin in front of the giver?

Sorry, a bit of a rant - I don't know why this gets me so much?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It might have nothing to do with her liking the food. Some people (like me) can get pretty painful indigestion from the skins of red and green peppers, tomatoes, and onions if more than a few little pieces are eaten together. Most foods don't give me a problem, but peppers i avoid particularly. Perhaps she didn't want to be rude and imply that the meal would give her indigestion, so maybe she just quietly ate the mussels and most of the pasta and didn't want to make a fuss about it or talk about her digestive issues. I doubt she wanted to be rude about throwing a gift in the garbage.