Any other unhappy-ending adoptive parents out there?

[bacarver]

Hi TE -

Thanks for giving me ideas to ponder. I would very much like to locate an internet support group or individuals willing to e-mail/write who have been through this loss. I did search a few years ago and hit dead ends. The support out there was for those wanting to foster/adopt. The failures were ignored/set aside because they don't promote child placement. I will try again to see if I can find something.
My past experiences with outpatient counseling have been less than satisfactory. I am hesitant to go back in for more.
EMDR is probably my best option.
I find it hard to overcome the "it's not my fault" belief.

Barb

[papaver]

bacarver, this may sound a little weird but... if there aren't any support groups, why not start one of your own? Try to find a psychologist or a counselor or another professional, maybe people from adoption agencies to back you up. It has to start somewhere.

[shootingstar]

bacarver, this may sound a little weird but... if there aren't any support groups, why not start one of your own? Try to find a psychologist or a counselor or another professional, maybe people from adoption agencies to back you up. It has to start somewhere.

Was just thinking of this too. At some point in time, not necessarily right away. Maybe after gathering more strength and with a professional counsellor or 2 to support/coordinate.

Gut feeling tells me...this a whole area of research that needs attention but that can't even begin until professional counsellors are pulled in to speak /talk with folks like bacarver.

Bacarver has much to offer..at some point later.

Hoping for a smoother road for you, bacarver. This is an article of related interest: http://muskie.usm.maine.edu/helpkids...uma-foster.pdf

As an option for : is to contact a university/college where the instructor specializes in teaching /research in areas related to your problem. These people would have a network of professional colleagues and knowledge of credible support groups across the U.S.

[malkin]

Some of the pain you seem to express seems like it would be similar to that of natural parents who are estranged from their children for whatever reason.

It's a sad and painful story.

[Trek420]

Some of the pain you seem to express seems like it would be similar to that of natural parents who are estranged from their children for whatever reason.

It's a sad and painful story.

+1. I don't think this is unique to adoptive parents which makes me wonder if there is a group out there for this situation generally.

If not, there needs to be someday as parents need a lot of support.

[channlluv]

I don't know what EMDR is. I hope it's helpful to you, though.

Have you journaled your feelings? Keep in mind that I'm a writer, but this sounds like it would be a really helpful book for others in your situation, reading about how you've dealt with the situation and your feelings. I'm looking forward to when you've found a good therapy, whatever that may be, and are able to move on in that healthy direction you mentioned earlier.

Just a thought. I do wish you well, whatever direction you take in healing.

Roxy