The drowning cow...

**kenyonchris** · 07-15-2009, 05:52 PM

So I was on bike patrol the other day, usually when we are on patrol on the bike, we do park checks, ride through neighborhoods, but seldom respond to 911 calls unless we happen to be right there. I have done a few traffic stops on the bike and actually did a DWI from the bike, but as a general rule, we are background officers while on the bike.

So dispatch called me to a call regarding a cow. It seemed that the cow was pretty much submerged in the creek. A citizen driving by saw it and called it in as a cow that had "fallen" in to the creek, she was afraid it might drown. NOW, envision me. On the bike, fully equipped, vest on, gun belt on. Armed with....a bike. HOW am I supposed to solve the drowning cow problem? Well, that is not dispatch's problem...its mine. Since I was close, I was on.
I couldn't resist. As a general rule, we say minimal amounts on the radio...it is public record and anyone with a scanner can hear. But I couldn't help it.
So I came out with the following:

"12-dispatch. Not sure how I can help but I will try to steer him in the right direction."
"12-dispatch. I am on scene and the rancher is not home. I knocked but I don't think he herd me."
"12-dispatch. I have eyes on the cow in question. I think he is just tanning."
"12-dispatch. I have made contact with the rancher. He advises that the cow is genetically disposed to swimming." (he really did advise that...he showed me pics on his phone of the cow in questions mom and dad...swimming)

The dispatchers, generally appalled by me anyway, were not amused. I was told to go back to bike patrol.

And yes, the cow was just doing a hippo routine... it walked out into the creek to cool off. Totally unimpressed with me and my bike, it eventually re-emerged on its own.

**tulip** · 07-15-2009, 06:15 PM

Cows do that all the time! Whoever called 911 for that was definitely a city slicker. Very funny post--thanks for the laugh.

**snapdragen** · 07-15-2009, 06:33 PM

So, do you have any pictures?

**PamNY** · 07-15-2009, 06:41 PM

That is funny. I'm glad you got the situation under control. I do wonder about the person who made the call. The cow, probably trying to stay cool, sounds smarter than the caller.

**witeowl** · 07-15-2009, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by kenyonchris

"12-dispatch. I am on scene and the rancher is not home. I knocked but I don't think he herd me."

I try to not point out typos, and I hope I don't offend, but I love when they reveal the inner workings of our brain and schemas. I'm 99.99% positive that, had you been talking about a chicken, you would not have made this particular typo.

Beyond that, funny story.

**Ann G** · 07-15-2009, 07:12 PM

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play, so it was part of the joke. A group of cattle is called a herd, spelled just like that.

**tulip** · 07-15-2009, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by kenyonchris

"12-dispatch. Not sure how I can help but I will try to steer him in the right direction."

Another good one!

**Biciclista** · 07-15-2009, 07:23 PM

great story!

They probably thought it was a bunch of bull!

**ivorygorgon** · 07-15-2009, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by Ann G

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play, so it was part of the joke

As was "steer."

**smilingcat** · 07-15-2009, 08:56 PM

too funny. So was it a cow, steer or a bull? You did refer the animal as he so I would assume a steer or a bull and not a cow.

I'm too much of a chicken to get near one. They are soo big.

Dispatch must have some beef with you. They need to lighten up. LOL

**witeowl** · 07-15-2009, 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by Ann G

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play..

Oh, wooooosh!

I didn't realize it was intentional. So much for my psychological analysis of subconscious slips. Now I even get the tanning.... Sigh.

I feel the need to quote Homer Simpson as I duck out: "Ohhh... a joke... he he... I get jokes."

**Mr. Bloom** · 07-16-2009, 02:18 AM

KC:

I woke up as tired and whipped today as I've been in a long time...and you gave me a laugh that kick started my entire day!

**OakLeaf** · 07-16-2009, 02:27 AM

Pictures of the cow's parents, swimming?

**lph** · 07-16-2009, 02:45 AM

Hey, that rancher's fond of his animals

Very sweet.

**kenyonchris** · 07-16-2009, 03:29 AM

Glad everyone liked it...and yes, the typos were intentional.

It is calls like this that make for the interesting day. No pics, I will try to be better about using my iphone.

Apparently, after I left yesterday, we had a call about a peacock on a roof. (Yes, we have to respond). The officer got there and confirmed, "yes, there is a peacock on the roof. I'm clear."

The things people call about. It is funny unless we are getting slammed. Then not so much.

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