How do you get your DH/SO interested in riding with you?

[Cataboo]

Initially riding with the BF was just an exercise in frustration - I was just not in good enough cardiovascular shape, and I really hadn't been on a bike in years... and I had never really ridden geared bikes enough to really understand what I was supposed to do with them and strategies for hills... Then the bike was uncomfortable or didn't fit for X numbers of reasons... So dealing with that and not being able to keep up, and his commentary wasn't really helping. We were both fairly out of shape because he'd broken his leg, the bone got infected, he needed muscle, bone, and skin grafts, etc. and so this simple leg break took at least 2 years to heal - and I was writing my thesis anyways, and we'd done a lot of kayaking since he couldn't really get around on the leg... Kayaking's not really cardiovascular. He was frustrated because I was in worse shape than he was and he was the one with the broken leg, a constant refrain was "I'm the guy with the broken leg & missing half his calf muscle - you have 2 good legs, so why can't you keep up?". But he was in way better shape to start with, he'd done a lot more riding in general than me, and sorta just could spin his way up anything.

I'll confess to have gotten really grumpy on the bike when I'm having a problem keeping up, or if I hear comments about it. "Well, we were going to do this, but since you're riding too slow" something to that extent will possibly send me through the roof - especially if I think I'm riding hard and I'm struggling. Or if I stop to adjust something on my bike and I get a comment about how there's always something wrong with my bike and I should just realize it's me and not the bike... Which, I'll admit, I did spend a lot of time switching things in and out last year till I got my bikes just how I like them... but in general, I really don't complain about my bikes lately. I may stop to adjust the seat level or turn my brakes on if I've forgotten to, but none of that is worth commenting on as far as I'm concerned.

My bf's gotten fairly good at calling a break and forcing me to eat some caffeinated cliff shot blocks, if I'm getting grumpy and having a hard time keeping up - whether or not we're kayaking or biking or hiking - usually I'm getting grumpy because I'm getting close to bonking, and the shot blocks do a great job of forestalling that.

He does do the ride down side street thing if he's waiting for me - which was probably necessary last year, this year not so much... which makes me really grumpy when he goes down a side street and I follow him.. and it turns out he was just waiting for me to catch up... and I do the... BUT I WAS 5 FEET BEHIND YOU. He seems to have a bit of a blind spot directly behind him, and then assumes I must be waay behind him. This especially annoys me if we're on a downhill or an uphill or somewhere where I have to lose a lot of momentum to make that turn.

We also seem to be on different time patterns when riding... if I get on a bike, I like a 10 min flat not too fast warm up at least, and after that my legs are in good shape to go for a long time... He likes to get on a bike and go as fast as possible until his legs are dead. He lives somewhere where it's about a 5 mile ride uphill on a really busy road to get to out... and my legs are just not really to do 5 miles uphill the second I get on a bike. It usually means that it takes 20 mins or more to get my legs recovered & warmed up if I start off on a hill... And I'm competitive enough to try to give chase in the beginning of a ride, and if I do... it really just kind of blows the rest of the ride for me, it takes that long to recover. So I've gotten into letting him just go ahead in the beginning and catching him wherever he's waiting.

Once I'm warmed up, we're a bit more evenly matched - I'm finding that I over take him on hills and flats a lot more often, I can beat him on a sprint usually... and that I'm a much more consistent rider. I can ride 15 mph or so forever. His legs kinda bonk or need potassium around 2-3 hours. He ocassionally claims that he's still riding slow for me, but I'm not entirely convinced of that - because if I do pass him, he typically can't catch me until I slow down going up the next hill.

But I basically just started riding on my own last year so I didn't have to deal with the peanut gallery of comments - I am definitely not someone who does well with what he calls motivation - biking past me and saying "attack this hill for once!" when... I'm already doing what I can to get up the hill. Maybe that's what guys like to do with each other? When I first took my bike to my house saying I was going to ride on my home, he was all "Like you're really going to do that...." And he shut up quickly when I did. I still bike more than him, because he really doesn't seem to like biking on his own... no matter how much of a pain in the neck he makes biking at my pace out to be. But I biked by myself till I got a general level of fitness that I wasn't slowing him down much.