Quote Originally Posted by GLC1968 View Post
Yeah, I hestitated to use the word 'closure' because of all the stereotypes surrounding it.

But honestly, getting it off your chest (and letting her get it off hers) can do a world of good. Even if it's messy at first.

Personally, I'm of the mind that holding back and keeping secrets is where relationship 'baggage' comes from. I don't have any. Of course, I also didn't marry for the first time until I was 35, so maybe that's not the right way of going about things.
Well, I used the word closure because he did. It's normally a concept I try to avoid. My point, however, was to suggest that closure is different from acceptance and that it's acceptance, really, that allows us to move on. So, if talking to her will help the OP better accept something about this situation, then great. Otherwise, I think "getting closure" could just contribute to his grief.

Granted, I actually don't think he's looking for closure, as much as he's looking for an opening. And who knows, maybe they really are meant to be. But if he cares about her and cares about making sure the second time around is more successful, then he better be prepared for some fall out. At best, his ex is feeling VERY conflicted, so it likely won't be smooth sailing.