Ok...for those of you that don't know, I'm a guy. Found this place as somewhere to find advice on bike and gear for short folk. Now...onto my problem...this might get long, its relationship stuff...

Alright...so, I was in Philly over the weekend. First time in Philly. And everywhere I go, they have Pennsylvania's own Yuengling beer. It reminded me of an ex because she wanted get that beer practically the entire time we dated. Anyway, I got back on Monday...and went into work on Tuesday. During the day, I decided to text message my ex who I haven't spoke to in a couple years...since we broke up. I send this:

"I was in Pennsylvania oer the weekend and saw Yuengling beer everywhere! That beer remind me of you. Anyway, hope you're well."

Now...here's the thing. I broke up with her. Worst mistake of my life. I loved so much...more than anyone ever. There were a lot of stupid factors that caused me to end our relationship which I won't go into right now for the sake of brevity. In anycase, I ended it...broker her heart, broke my own. Since the breakup, I have tried to reach out to her if for no other reason that to regain what was also the best friendship of my life. She has never responded before.

Yesterday...she responded. She sent a text back asking if I was at work. And then 10 minutes later, she called and left a voicemail. I missed both when they occurred as I was working and simply not expecting to hear back...

I listened to the message...she told me how she's been meaning to talk to me, about how she wanted to clear some things up about the end of our relationship...and she tells me she's getting married soon. Then...she said the following through lots of emotion and tears:

"i wish you well, i really do. i truly loved you. i cared so much about you. and i think you deserve the best. and i'm just sorry that i couldn't get a chance to say goodbye to you. i would just...i guess this is goodbye forever. but i truly did love you and care about you. and i still just wish...i hope you're happy. and i hope you find, and i know you will, find an amazing woman. and i know it will be different. and you'll be completely honest with her. and i will...just like she'll be honest with you. being two co dependents, we should have never dated. but it is what it is. and i'm happy for it. and you know...lets just take the lessons and learn from that. and i wish you seriously the best. *particulary strong emotion* i'm sorry i'm upset. anyway...i will...probably won't talk to you later. but please know that i still continually pray for you every night. and pray that you're doing well and happy. i'll quit taking up your time. i seriously wish you the best. alright...i wish you well."

By the end...I'm sobbing at work looking like a total retard...and excuse myself to my car. Because...see...here's the thing...I never stopped loving her. I should have NEVER ended our relationship. I was scared...and stupid...I was a coward.

I composed myself and went back into the office...and I decided to text her back: "I'm at work right now. I'm not sure if you'll pick up but I'd like to try to call you later."

She asks if I can call her tomorrow. I reply sure, anytime after 4pm...and I congratulate her and and tell her I'm happy that she's been blessed. She replies that tomorrow around 4pm is good.

Now what? I don't even know what to say. If she weren't engaged, I just let it all out and tell her I still love her and I how I can't imagine every being with anyone else. But she's engaged...yet it seems like there's some sort of emotion there still left for me...or am I wrong? Does it matter? Do I just graciously put my desires aside...wish her the best...and just try to move on? Do I tell her I still love her and that I should never have ended our relationship...and tell her the truth about my reasons for ending our realtionship?

And the other thing is...as coincidence would have it, I'll actually be heading right out her way after work because I have to go drop by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society offices and then to a bar for a friends fundraiser...both are far from me but seconds from her. Do I ask her to meet me somewhere for a sec?

I want to be selfish...I want to see her again, even if it's for the last time just to see her again in person and say goodbye...and I also want to let her know how much I still love her and care for her, even it it means I make a total fool of myself.

Or do I just put it all aside and just talk on the phone...wish her the best...and move on...? I just don't know...I mean, I know what I want to do...but I don't know if that's the best thing to do. There's no instructions or manuals for stuff like this...

Anyway...any advice would be appreciated...thanks...