Girls, I need your help! Emergency...

[celerystalksme]

Let me offer a differing opinion. When I was due to marry my now husband, I had more than one conversation with past loves. It seemed like when I'd finally found the right guy and made my commitment, all the others came out of the woodwork with 'what could have beens'. I enjoyed all that communication and I enjoyed knowing the 'reasons' behind things. It all just served to confirm that I was making the right choice and it just futhered my commitment to my future husband.

While you sent her a text, she was the one to reach out to you. Honestly, if she is really as strongly committed in her new relationship as she should be at this early, ideal, romantic stage, then contact from an ex should have no bearing on her future.

I think you should go ahead and talk with her. I don't know that I'd go so far as seeing her just yet, but I think that a conversation is fine. Honestly, she deserves to know the truth. It may give her closure and allow her to feel even better about her new future. If it doesn't do that, honestly...then her new future is probably doomed anyway.

Just be prepared for the fact that you may bare your soul to her, she may cry a lot...but when it comes right down to it, she may very likely go ahead with her plans to marry this guy with all the love and commitment in her heart. Are you prepared for that rejection and to have those old wounds opened up? If not, then just say your goodbyes and move on now. Do not go into this meeting thinking that you are going to get her back and that all the angels will be singing of your love for each other. That may not be the case and you need to be prepared for that...

actually, i've played it out in my head a zillion times last night and in my dreams. to be honest, the only conclusion i can realistically envision is me baring my soul...her baring her soul...and her going forth in her new direction, with a man that to be honest probably deserves her more than myself. and then i just shrivel up and die in a hole.

and despite that, my desire is to lay it all out on the table...why things went the way they did, what i was thinking, why i made the decision that i did, the regret and sorrow i still hold, etc.

i do love her still. and yeah, maybe in some crazy dream world, we'd get back together live out our lives with each other. but really...maybe what i'd like is some closure as well, if nothing more.

i don't know. i guess...i mean, honestly...i mean, of course i'd like to be happy, and i feel like i gave up happiness when i ended our relationship...but i genuinely honestly don't care if i hurt as long as she's found peace. if we both say our peace and she chooses her new life, i'll experience heartbreak all over again...and that's ok! believe it not, there will be part of me overjoyed for her, that she's been able to find someone so special. but i definitely would prefer that we both said all we want to say. and i guess...i hope that's not really as selfish as it seems to me sometimes.

ugh...