Elope?

[GLC1968]

Whatever you choose to do, make it something you will both love and feel comfortable with. The wedding is for you, the party is for everyone else. It will never "fall short" if it's yours.

Yes, yes, yes!

Even though I wouldn't have opted for the big huge, formal wedding we had, I did control the ceremony - 100%. I wrote it, actually. We wrote our vows together (completely original) and I put the rest of the ceremony together using bits and pieces from multiple cultures/traditions. As a couple, we had to compromise on a few things because I refused to be married in a church but yet my husband insisted that we had to be married by a member of the clergy. I had some very strict rules about what could and could not be said by the minister and luckily, he was very forward thinking and very accomodating. We had to interview quite a few before we found someone I was comfortable with...

I was adamant that there would not be one single thing about that day that made either me or my husband uncomfortable. I didn't care how difficult it made things (it really didn't), but it was incredibly important to me. There were songs the band was not allowed to play, there were 'traditions' that would not be followed, and there were words that could not be used...all in the name of our choices.

Make the day YOURS. That's what matters the most, no matter what it is you do with it...

[Andrea]

You should ask the same question on that "other" forum...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Like GLC, I found...

Welcome back.

[indysteel]

You should ask the same question on that "other" forum...

LOL. I don't think either one of us is ready to broadcast this there. Madness and mayhem (aka Gutfiddle) will ensue. So, you can keep a secret, right?

[SheFly]

We "eloped" and I loved it!

This was a second marriage for both of us, and we didn't want all of the hoopla that went with a wedding [again]. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married, but went and got the license and blood work early in the month, and planned a date and time at town hall. No witnesses required.

Funny story - I did plan on a new outfit (purchased specially for our 5 minute ceremony), grew my hair, and had a hair appt for an updo. Funnier? When I donned my new outfit, FDH said, in all seriousness, "You didn't buy that to get married in did you?" He hated it. So, five minutes before the ceremony at town hall, I was rifling in the closet and wore a burgundy silk suit I had there (DH wore khakis, sport coat and tie).

We went to the town hall where we were married by the town clerk - no friends, no relatives, no staff, just the three of us. Afterwards, we came home, changed clothes, packed the truck and drove to the Cape for the weekend (we got married on a Friday). When we returned home on Sunday, we called both sets of parents to tell them. I actually announced to all of our friends by email!

My in-laws did have a SMALL (immediate family only) party with cake for us, and my parents celebrated with us when they came for their next visit.

Would I do it this way again? Hopefully I never have to, but ABSOLUTELY YES! It is a very special memory to me - a day shared by my DH and I alone, focused on our marriage, and not on the wedding.

Good luck!

SheFly

[indysteel]

We "eloped" and I loved it!

This was a second marriage for both of us, and we didn't want all of the hoopla that went with a wedding [again]. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married, but went and got the license and blood work early in the month, and planned a date and time at town hall. No witnesses required.

Funny story - I did plan on a new outfit (purchased specially for our 5 minute ceremony), grew my hair, and had a hair appt for an updo. Funnier? When I donned my new outfit, FDH said, in all seriousness, "You didn't buy that to get married in did you?" He hated it. So, five minutes before the ceremony at town hall, I was rifling in the closet and wore a burgundy silk suit I had there (DH wore khakis, sport coat and tie).

We went to the town hall where we were married by the town clerk - no friends, no relatives, no staff, just the three of us. Afterwards, we came home, changed clothes, packed the truck and drove to the Cape for the weekend (we got married on a Friday). When we returned home on Sunday, we called both sets of parents to tell them. I actually announced to all of our friends by email!

My in-laws did have a SMALL (immediate family only) party with cake for us, and my parents celebrated with us when they came for their next visit.

Would I do it this way again? Hopefully I never have to, but ABSOLUTELY YES! It is a very special memory to me - a day shared by my DH and I alone, focused on our marriage, and not on the wedding.

Good luck!

SheFly

That all sounds great. There is definitely some appeal to getting hitched here and then "running off" to our honeymoon. Between my boss and my former boss (both judges), City Hall, and any number of attorney friends who can become judge pro tems for the day, there are a lot of options.

When I look at places, say in California or Utah, that cater to destination weddings, whether elopement or otherwise, I start to sweat. Granted, I really do lack the bride gene, but it feels oddly contrived, but I like the idea of a romantic setting. We spent some time this spring in Tennessee. It would be nice to go back there (though not to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg) for the ceremony.

Clearly, BF and I need to talk in depth about what we want. I'm the planner as between the two of us, but all of these decisions need to be made jointly. I'd like to at least present him with the most viable options, however.

Thanks for all the stories. I'd nice to see that so many of you don't have regrets and were able to fashion something that felt right for you. And congrats to Trek and Knotted!

And if TrekJeni is out there.....let me know what you decided to do about your own wedding. I haven't seen an update in a while.

[snapdragen]

LOL. I don't think either one of us is ready to broadcast this there. Madness and mayhem (aka Gutfiddle) will ensue. So, you can keep a secret, right?

Of course we can....... //evil grin



I don't let this place overlap with that place..

[indysteel]

Of course we can....... //evil grin

Now remember Snap, "you're the nice one"!

Thanks for keeping mum. I appreciate it.

[badger]

not sure if it's technically eloping as they had some friends, but my parents more or less eloped. My dad was in Africa doing some engineering work and my mother was in Japan. Her father didn't approve her marrying some white man, so she pretty much ran off to Africa to marry him. My grandfather was so upset he went to the local police office to say some foreigner's stealing his daughter!

My boyfriend and I don't really want to get married but we may eventually need to out of practicality (taxes, benefits, etc). If we need to, it would be super casual and with not many people present. I like the idea of running off somewhere warm and getting married in my bare feet.

[shootingstar]

not sure if it's technically eloping as they had some friends, but my parents more or less eloped. My dad was in Africa doing some engineering work and my mother was in Japan. Her father didn't approve her marrying some white man, so she pretty much ran off to Africa to marry him. My grandfather was so upset he went to the local police office to say some foreigner's stealing his daughter!

The police station story is a real twist..will remain forever in family folklore as good tale to tell. Guess it took your grandfather awhile (several yrs.?) to get over this one..ie. accept the marriage.

You don't need to say any more..lovechild.

[Reesha]

I imagine for myself and if all goes well in a few years, my current boyfriend a destination elopement. Nothing secret, no vegas, but somewhere beautiful and a place we'd feel good about going straight into our honeymoon. Bermuda has always been a favorite place, but other places I've thought about are the Mediterranean (Sicily particularly), Iceland. I really just want the wedding to be me and him (or whichever guy I end up marrying). I know it's nice for family to see, but I am also really into the intimacy of doing it privately. Ultimately the vows are between us and no one else. When we get back I want to plan a big lakeside bbq with a giant raspberry tiramisu!

Also I'd like to wear an ankle length strapless dress made of eyelet cotton

[Andrea]

LOL. I don't think either one of us is ready to broadcast this there. Madness and mayhem (aka Gutfiddle) will ensue. So, you can keep a secret, right?

I'm not tellin' if you're not!

[mtbdarby]

Congrats Indy!

For what it's worth, I did elope and I would not do it again for the following reasons:
We eloped because we could not agree on any part of the wedding. In hindsight, this was an indicator for issues in our marriage.

I have a very strong faith in God and really felt like we did not have a strong spiritual foundation for our marriage.

I'm a daddy's girl and I REALLY wanted my dad to give me away and have my family's blessing. They did not know we were eloping and although they never said a word, I know they were disappointed (I'm the youngest girl).

Our marriage didn't survive and I don't blame eloping, lol. I do, however, look back at why we did it that way and see that I compromised some of my core values at the time and now realise you can't do that and not end up resenting your partner at some point for it. Be true to yourselves and discuss everything before getting married to make sure you do share the same core values. I still have my dream wedding planned in my head and it's a small family affair. If I ever get married again I'll do it differently.

Enjoy your day however you want to!