I suggest pre-marital counseling also, so you can explore other areas of gender roles in marriage as well. While raising kids is important, it is not the only function of marriage, in some marriages there are no kids. That doesn't mean there isn't love and bonding, or arguing, in those marriages.

My husband slept through our kids middle of the night stirrings. Since I was nursing I was still going to have to get up. On the other hand, as soon as he got off the train, he gave the kids supper so I could go out to run. He was also the main one for bedding down and bathing the kids. My son, is Mr. Diaper man, my DIL didn't change diapers until he went back to work at the end of the 2 week vacation he took when grandson was born. Now at 7 months, she nurses then hands the baby over to my son. The simple truth is that infants under about 12 months require about 36 hours of care a day. Some kind of plan has to be worked out.

You have to keep in mind that many new fathers are terrified, because for the first time in their lives (usually) they are the sole support of 2 or 3 other people. Even if Mom goes back to work in 3 months, that is still scary. Society tends to glorify mother and baby, but forget fathers, so they don't have clear role models. Even if their own father was the stay-at-home Dad, they can't remember what that was like in infancy.

Becoming a couple requires lots of adjustments, becoming parents requires adjusting the adjustments, so talk a lot and listen a lot.