"Forget it. Life treats you the way you let it."
Flower Children, c.1920

I just want to see equality. We have come a long way, but there is still an almost-daily fight for respect.

Workmen we may hire will talk to my husband, and not to me if we are both standing in front of them - even though I'm the one who called the guy, and I'm the one who will be supervising his work (and know what it is he should be doing). When looking at cars, specifically a sporty car, I was shown a sedan and the fellow kept talking about safety features and how this would be a "nice, safe car" - after a test drive on a sporty car, he remarked that I was a good driver, like it was some kind of surprise that a woman can drive a stick and not grind gears to death.

How many of us are sick of having a doctor (or anybody else) asking if you are pregnant the moment you have any sort of illness? I joke that a broken toe would still warrant that question.

I used to become angry. Instead, now I just express clearly what it is I want from the start. I'm not a *itch, I actually make an effort to be firmly polite, but I do expect to be treated a certain way. If the car salesman wants to show me "safe cars" I say it's a shame they don't have what it is I want, and that I'll be moving on to the dealership next door. If a doctor wants to call my herniated disk a possible pregnancy, I leave (actually, I head it off now with "if you mention the p-word, I'm leaving"). And if a repairman wants to think I'm not worth talking to, I may throw in a pertinent observation to show that I'm present, if that doesn't change his perception, he simply isn't hired.

We can't change everybody. There are people who are the predjudiced pricks they are: such as the old man who suggested I must be a hoar one early morning while out walking a rescue dog (I was wearing my husband's sweatshirt, yoga pants and flip-flops, and the dog looked terrible). There are, and will always be, people whose minds will not change. The only thing you can do is ignore them.

In the end, all we can do is work for equality - and it would behoove us to realize that men are also being shoved into molds whether they like them or not. Our goal should be to live in harmony with one another. It isn't always easy... but my form of "feminisim" if the word must be used, is to work toward changing perceptions in a positive manner. I won't let life treat me badly, but neither will I treat anyone else badly for my own gain.