It's funny, your experience of the SAHM vs. working outside the home mom varies so much, depending on your peer group. When I had my kids in the 80's, everyone I worked with was my age and having kids. I never gave a thought to staying home, even if I could have afforded it. But then, one summer I took my older son to a mother-child toddler activity class. There, I met up with a group of women that eventually became some of my closest friends. But none of them worked. This was a group of 40 or so women. I went to the play groups, classes, and couples activities in the summer and on the weekends/nights. No one dissed me, but they just didn't understand how I could live my life the way I did. All of these women were highly educated, too. When I got pregnant with the second one, I was asked, "So, you're going to stay home now?" They were surprised when I said "no," but I think I was somewhat accepted due to my "traditional female career."
Some of these people had been married much longer than I had been and waited to have their kids.
My lifestyle worked out very well for me, my husband, and kids. I never expected anyone to do exactly what I had done; it's too personal of a decision. My mom, who never worked, continually told me to have a career and my own money! I think she was born too early. Although my dad was quite active in household things and child care for a man in the fifties and sixties, my mom would have received a lot of cr*p from her peers for working back then. It just wasn't done, especially where I lived.