Feminists? Any here?

[Irulan]

I quit labeling myself a feminist back in the mid 80s'. I was raised by what you might call an original feminist - my mom was a working mom in the 50's and 60's and I was raised by housekeepers. Between Gloria Steinem and bra burning, and political protests, I was raised in the thick of it. I took a lot of what the movement was teaching as gospel until I started living a real world life.

I dropped the label about 1984, when my husband was working 70-90 hours a week, and I was a student. I got really sick of having to explain to people that "splitting the housework 50/50" was at the minimum a really stupid idea, and more realistically, just not practical when he was pulling 36 hour shifts (with no sleep) in the oil field, and I was going to school. We much prefer the "everyone does something until the work is done" MO around here, as compared to a theoretical 50/50 thing.

Then I had kids. Boy, talk about dirty looks and getting devalued by your "sisters" when you choose to be a stay at home mom...

My personal belief is that a lot of the feminist movement has damaged families, and devalued men's roles in a healthy balanced family and relationships. How many families were torn apart because some woman had to go "find herself"? Or, kids still being raised by day care because the family is not a priority?

I know, I must sound like a dinosaur here. Maybe so. I believe it's important to value the differences that men and have, and to celebrate them. It's as important to look as the roles that have been forced onto men as it is to apply the same concept to women. Everyone is oppressed is someway or another, women shouldn't corner the market on it.