Getting married- ? do I change my name

[ZenSojourner]

Probably. When he said it (we were IM-ing), I pointed out that one of our founding fathers, Patrick Henry, had locked his wife up in the basement because she was "crazy". That's what too much reading will do for a woman.

He promptly Googled it - I must say he hasn't been as trusting of me since the Jackalope incident when he was 9 - discovered it was true, and proclaimed, "Patrick Henry is my Hero!"

He's a pistol.

[Flur]

I took DH's name, gladly. BUT, I was already in the midst of name-identity crisis. My birth father and my mom never married, so I had my mom's last name at birth. This was just fine by me (who wants the name of a guy who wishes she hadn't existed in the first place?). But my mom remarried and her new husband (my dad) adopted me, and I took his name when I was 9. We weren't very close when I was growing up, and I didn't relate to the name at all, plus it's Scottish and I don't look at all Scottish so it caused people to probe. By the time I got to college I wanted to change my name back, but I thought it would hurt his feelings so I didn't.

So when DH and I decided to get married it was an easy decision for me. I got to take a name that I liked, and have a reason for having it that people don't question. And now it feels more like me than any of the other names. If something happened and we got divorced I wouldn't change it back. It's who I am now.