Marriage: it isn't all roses and rainbows

[twin]

Tri Girl,
I can not speak to the long years of marriage I hope you are doing better and are seeking someone to talk with. I hope you figure out what you need and what the two of you need. Surely someone will have an opening somewhere so that you can change your job. I understand you would like to commute by bike and that would maybe make you feel better and more free. If you need anything or someone to talk to I will PM info. for you.

[bouncybouncy]

Wow...us too! (free spirit wife/security minded husband...but so many other opposites that we constantly work on to merge...a planner/spontaneous...opposites attract is an understatement in our relationship!!!

I had that "I am sad" conversation not too long ago...I just want to say that it was very important that he understood it was NOT him causing my sadness. It was within me and I needed to work it out. I wanted him to go along the journey with me...we have the same communication issues but have forced ourselves to work through it. In one way it was to not make every conversation a looong, deep one...some of our very important conversations are quick, on-liners to let the other know we are aware of our behavior...bad or good. I hope that makes sense...

[Irulan]

One thing that we got out of marriage counseling was training in how to better communicate. This will sound crazy, but we actually had a script from our counselor, and we were to only use this script for certain issues. What is was, really,was active listening training but we didn't know it at the time. It certainly did help us learn to communicate much more effectively, and adressed the core issues that most men and women seem to have with communication.