I'm a total control freak. I need to be in control of things or I can get antsy.

Ironically, even though I'm in need of control, I have a very hard time with decision making. In fact, it drives me insane how indecisive I can be sometimes, like one part of me just wants to say "oh for crying out loud, just pick one!"

I also have struggled with anxiety/panic disorder in the past and I have a feeling all these issues probably come out of having low self esteem.

So I echo others' suggestions on seeing a therapist. I haven't seen one in years, but going to a psychologist for my anxiety/panic really helped.