How To Not Sweat The Small Stuff?

[shootingstar]

Hope there are solutions for the perfectionist tendencies.

I was never a perfectionist..but admittedly I have had control tendencies..at different times in life. Usually when I am dissatisfied or unhappy with life in general, then I overfocus on the wrong stuff.

[badger]

I'm a total control freak. I need to be in control of things or I can get antsy.

Ironically, even though I'm in need of control, I have a very hard time with decision making. In fact, it drives me insane how indecisive I can be sometimes, like one part of me just wants to say "oh for crying out loud, just pick one!"

I also have struggled with anxiety/panic disorder in the past and I have a feeling all these issues probably come out of having low self esteem.

So I echo others' suggestions on seeing a therapist. I haven't seen one in years, but going to a psychologist for my anxiety/panic really helped.

[emily_in_nc]

Ironically, even though I'm in need of control, I have a very hard time with decision making. In fact, it drives me insane how indecisive I can be sometimes, like one part of me just wants to say "oh for crying out loud, just pick one!"

That's part of perfectionism. You want the decision to be "perfect", and you can see flaws in each side, so you can't decide, since whichever choice you make may end up imperfect. Thus, the paralysis of decision making. The book I read (years ago) about perfectionism talked a lot about how indecisiveness actually relates right back to perfectionism. I hadn't thought of that, but it makes a lot of sense.

[Crankin]

One of the things that helped me greatly was participating in a Mindfulness Stress Reduction clinic. If you look on the web under Jon Kabat-Zinn, you will find his books. Even if you can only do some of the breathing exercises, practicing mindfulness, and yoga, it will help. This doesn't target OCD specifically, but it gives you tools for looking at life in a different way.
I am in a holistically oriented counseling master's program. This is one of the things we have studied a lot. There's tons of research to support it and it isn't considered "weird" by medical professionals anymore.
You could also consider getting some beginning meditation or relaxation tapes/cds. All of this stuff can help.
And what someone said about the time/money issue being a way to avoid looking at yourself in a way that is not comfortable is really true. There's a lot of help out there.

[Irulan]

That is very interesting. The MD Pscych I work with has given me some really interesting books and we work on mindfulness a lot..

A Path With Heart - Jack Kornfield
The Power of Now - Eckhert Tolle