He might not be the right person for you OR you might not be at the right time in your life to have a relationship. Counseling would definitely help you figure out what you want and how to have a healthy relationship when you've found the right person.

It's difficult to guess from afar but a lot of "wounded innocent" recipients of snarkiness (for lack of a better word) have their own stuff going on. I've seen really nice people who use "nice" as a form of control. A lot of times your subconscious can see this stuff but you can't, especially if you are trying to rebuild after a bad relationship.

If you'd like to try to start again with your SO, you will both have to be really honest with each other. He needs to be able to call you on your crankiness and also needs to understand when you're overtired. You need to be able to talk to him about your fears and insecurities and why you do what you do.