Living in Egypt , near denial... or I'm ready to quit

[Veronica]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

[Tuckervill]

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

[snapdragen]

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

I wonder if the parents bought Grand Theft Auto for him?

[Irulan]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

OMG.
This is so typical the lack of accountability, blame it on someone else, not-my-fault attitude that is scarily prevalent today. I do blame the parents - and I am one too.

[Mr. Bloom]

His mother called me and left a voice mail, very upset with me for upsetting her son about his future. Of course he didn't tell her how he'd been wasting his time all morning. In her tirade she says that they are a Christian family and she is trying to instill Christian values in her son.

I don't expect a kid to have all this figured out, but I would let the mom know that she had expressed to you what their values were, you found this cootie catcher that seemed inconsistent with that value system, and you thought that she would want to know. No judgement, just information.

We all tend to see only the best in our kids and tend to be blind to their shortcomings. Information and communication is the key to helping this parent be a better parent.

[Veronica]

However, I am not really sure that CHILDREN have changed that much. Is it better or worse that kids with behavior problems now come with paperwork?

Yes children have changed. They see R rated movies now. They play video games like Grand Theft Auto - a game that promotes criminal activity and not just stealing cars.

Regarding the extra paperwork - yeah it's nice to know what the students are like... but who has time to complete the paperwork? I already put in 8+ hours daily and 2 - 4 hours each weekend day, just to keep up with lesson planning and grading. I'm not one of those teachers who does the same thing for years. I tailor my instruction to the needs of my class. Working with 30 ten years olds is physically and mentally draining. Your brain is constantly on and your body is nearly always in motion. There are days when I am on from 8:15 to 12:30 with just a 15 minute break for recess, which often turns into more like ten. If you were ever a lifeguard, teaching is like being constantly on deck, watching the pool. You are ALWAYS vigilant.

This week I have one of the 504 meetings. It's scheduled for 11:15 and a sub will be coming into my room. So, I needed to do the paperwork for the 504 and sub plans. Again, that's not something you just whip out in 2 - 3 minutes.

It could be worse. I could have my 504 meeting at 3 PM on Friday. That's what one of my peers has. We're never asked what's a good time for the meeting by the way. They are always scheduled for the parents' convenience. She is supposed to be picking up her 5 year old to take him to his Fall Fest. Fortunately, we have a good principal and she's promised her the meeting will end at 3:30. By contract, we're supposed to be able to leave at 3 on Fridays. Of course the contract also has a meeting clause in it.

Yes, teachers do have personal lives.

Veronica

[maillotpois]

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.


Veronica

That's like the "Twinkie defense". Lack of accountability makes me CRAZY.

Good you brought it to the principal. The good Christian parents need to be shown that as well. And I bet they did buy him that video game. Or certainly they know he has it, but they probably haven't taken the time to sit down with him while he's playing and realize how appalling it is. They probably just let him go off and play it unsupervised, grateful for the cheap babysitting so they can do laundry or cook dinner or whatever. Or pray.

[OakLeaf]

For all the ugliness in some video games today, I don't think there's overt racism. That particular word I'm guessing he picked up at home.

[alpinerabbit]

he kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.

That's even worse, because he is obviously already mature enough to understand, and smart enough to manipulate. Disgusting.

For all the ugliness in some video games today, I don't think there's overt racism. That particular word I'm guessing he picked up at home.

or from some of his weasely little friends. Maybe his mom should spend less time instilling him with bigoted christian values and more time looking into what he's actually doing in his spare time.

[Veronica]

A photocopy of the cootie catcher went home.

Mom knows he has the video game. The principal and last year's teacher both encouraged her to take it away from him. She did - for two weeks.

Veronica

[Veronica]

In mom's defense, she is a single parent and she is trying.

I think the boy needs to be held much more accountable for his actions. By ten most kids understand what is right and what is wrong. He does understand because he has come to me on more than one occassion to tell me about other students who have done many of the same things he does (bullying, inappropriate language, body contact...)

I just don't know what "holding him more accountable" should look like. In all honesty I'd like him ostracized in the class by the class - not permanently. But when he does some of this garbage I'd really like his peers to let him know how despicable his behavior is.

He's been suspended numerous times. He's lost tons of recess time over the years. Those things aren't lasting and don't matter. The class refusing to socialize with him might matter. Trouble is - I have about 6 others who think bad behavior is cool. How do you ostracize 1/4 of your class? I'd love to make him sit in the corner. He can still hear instruction and I can see him... but that would be bad for his self esteem. Too bad.

Veronica

[maillotpois]

It is SO hard to get kids to own up to mistakes, apologize or be accountable. ANY kids. I have this fight over and over with Em. She's a good kid but she will NOT admit a mistake. I keep telling her I would rather shat she is honest, back down, admit she's wrong or made a mistake than arguing about it. I figure if I keep reinforcing it eventually she will start doing it. I'd rather you say you screwed up and be accountable than trying to evade blame. Blame's not that bad. It's life. Everyone makes mistakes.

Having a peer group that thinks bad behavior is cool makes it tough for you V. And I don't know what you do to make it sink in. I think you just have to keep chipping away at it, keep the mom informed (and put your asbestos earmuffs on when she leaves you voice mails) and just know you are trying to do what you can.

[Iris616]

V-
I'll just say "thanks" for teaching. Thanks for taking the time to make the lives of these kids better. I can only imagine how difficult some days can be.

[Veronica]

Michele you didn't need to edit.

I love how off topic threads get sometimes. It's like a conversation.

I was bringing myself back on topic...

It's good to have a place to write out some of my frustration. It's better than my journal because the journal doesn't write back and offer ideas or just encouragement.

I must be doing something right because I have so many kids come back to visit me - including some who are now in college.

Veronica

[Iris616]

Here's an example of how teachers impact their students every day (without even knowing it sometimes):

My 5 yo often says "Oh my God" which drives me crazy. Her cousins all say it, so she picked it up from them. We ask her to chose a different phrase every time we hear her say it.

Last night she came home from Kindergarten and at some point said, "Oh my goodness gracious!" I asked her where she had heard that and she said, "Mrs. H. says it!" It was a pleasant surprise to me that her teacher has more influence over her than her cousins do! I'm sure that she is learning valuable life skills every day that she is in this woman's classroom.

So, to all of you teachers, please know that you DO make a difference every day. And that most parents are appreciative of it.