A little milestone for me

[rij73]

Yes... I agree with what everyone is saying. Again, DH is a great guy, but it's just that a lot of men have a very different idea of what is motivating vs. what is hurtful. He really is clueless about it.

The thing about the bike being wasted on me... well, those weren't exactly his words. What he said was that if I wasn't going to push the bike to the performance level it was designed for, that we could have bought me more of a touring bike... something less expensive too. My bike is a real race bike: light, carbon fiber, pretty aggressive geometry, decent parts package, etc.

But, you see, I'm a sucker for quality and looks, and I absolutely adore my frame. I don't think I would have necessarily fallen in love with biking with a different kind of bike. And also, if I'm slow now, wouldn't I be even slower on a heavier, more upright bike???

Therefore, I'm not letting his point of view get in my head anymore. He doesn't put me down intentionally, but I often take it that way. That is something I have complete control over and should be able to fix.

It helps to remind myself that he and I come from *completely* different backgrounds. He was athletic, outdoorsy, and popular while I was bookish, sedentary, and decidedly unpopular. Hence, he is still more talented when it comes to athletic endeavors. I, however, speak two foreign languages, am a professional classical musician, know a lot about literature, and am better with all things intellectual (like computers and math). These are the things I remind myself of when I am feeling a little down. I've always had a complex, though, about this kind of thing. It comes from *years* of ridicule in school. Kids can be cruel, and I heard it all...

There you go, ladies of TE! I know you all wanted so much insight into the inner workings of rij73's psychology.