Queer-eye for the straight woman

[Savannahgurl]

I applaud you for having the nerve to post that Snap. I have watched so many TE members get 'run off' by self rightous TE regulars. I will continue to lurk occassionally, but this will be my one and only post. I prefer to post of other forums where the welcome is much warmer no matter who you are.

I work at Wal-Mart, love George Bush and am proud to be a Republican, have a husband who is fighting a worthwhile war in Iraq. I am not ashamed to eat beef, to believe in God and America, and am going to spend my refund check at Wal-Mart on stuff made in China. AND I ride a bicycle.

I'm really disappointed that another lighthearted post has been turned into yet another soapbox on TE. Are we so wrapped up in our own PC world, that we need to school everyone whenever we feel a possible slight.

It's not just this post, and the use of the word queer. It's the "I'm so much better because I don't shop at walmart", "I never eat beef so I'm a much better human", "all conservative Christians are stupid".

People have been driven off these boards by the holier than thou behavior of a few, and I'm sick of it; to the point where I wonder if I even want to be a part of this community any more.

//snap - straight, queer loving, pagan, liberal that believes in tolerance for everyone, not just those you agree with.

[VeloVT]

howdy,
I stand by my post earlier (I really do feel that everyone here should be accorded a right to express when they've been offended), but I just wanted to make sure, LoriO, that you realize that I did not mean to compare **your post** to someone making offensive racial jokes at a dinner party. I was trying to illustrate what happens when people are not permitted to say when something offends them, in response to Snap's post; I was not trying to imply that your post somehow comparable to that situation, and for the record I don't think it was in any way.

I'm sorry that some people seem to be feeling that this is not a welcoming community. I have on occasion been irritated by what I perceived as judgmental or self-righteous posts, but overall I think the level of maturity, wisdom and respect on these boards far exceed what I have seen elsewhere, and I even apply that to the people who have offended me in the past. I will try to be more sensitive in my posts in the future, and I'm sure others will too.

But maybe I'm a weirdo because I didn't find the "controversial" post that was removed to be horribly inappropriate; perhaps it could have been worded a bit more gently, but it belongs to the category of speech that I believe we should protect here.

[redrhodie]

I applaud you for having the nerve to post that Snap. I have watched so many TE members get 'run off' by self rightous TE regulars. I will continue to lurk occassionally, but this will be my one and only post. I prefer to post of other forums where the welcome is much warmer no matter who you are.

I work at Wal-Mart, love George Bush and am proud to be a Republican, have a husband who is fighting a worthwhile war in Iraq. I am not ashamed to eat beef, to believe in God and America, and am going to spend my refund check at Wal-Mart on stuff made in China. AND I ride a bicycle.

The only thing that matters to me is your last sentence. Isn't that what this forum is supposed to be about? Why choose this as your only post?

Go ride your bike, and tell us about that, why don'tcha

[KnottedYet]

Well, the thread was winding down to apologies and apololgy-accepteds and general mature good-feelings all around again, so he had to do something to try to make it vicariously thrilling and watch the women flip out again.

My teenaged son reads me some of the forum-baiting he finds on the internet. It happens everywhere. Don't let it get to you.

[redrhodie]

Ha!

[Starfish]

I have watched so many TE members get 'run off' by self rightous TE regulars.

Nobody can get "run off" unless they are willing to be "run off."

I don't agree with an awful lot of what I read in this forum, and I have read some downright offensive language about things I believe in deeply, characterizations I don't think would be tolerated here for one minute if they were aimed at a lot of other belief systems.

But, it is always my choice to decide where to pick my battles, and to weigh what I get from this community, compared to what troubles me about it. No different than any other group of frail and faulty human beings (including me) I might belong to.

I have sometimes needed to take a break from TE because of these issues, but that is my choice. No one is going to "run me off." I happen to care a lot more about the big choices people make in life when it comes to what they believe, than I care about what kind of bike they ride.

But, this is a cycling forum...it is what it is. For me, there is more benefit in staying than letting a few intolerant people ruin my association with the huge numbers of wonderful women on this forum who have been incredibly kind and helpful to me.

[Veronica]

Frankly, I'm kind of wondering who has been "run off"? Sure there have been people who have come and posted a bit and then moved on. But were they "run off" or did they just choose to move on? How do you know when someone has been run off? I guess when they post that they're leaving. But I've always viewed those posts as a plea for attention. But hey I'm just an insensitive clod who eats meat, but only humanely raised and only cage free eggs, believes in God, but not in heaven (don't ask!), refuses to shop at Wal Mart, tries desperately to not buy goods made in China and speaks her mind. What do I know?

Oh and I spent the first 18 years of my life on welfare, so I do understand why some people cannot make the choices I have made. I am extremely thankful that I have been fortunate in my life and can now choose to follow my conscience without worrying about where my next meal is coming from. Don't hate me because I've been lucky.

I think movement is typical of a lot of forums. There's a watch forum I drop in on once or twice a year now that I was formerly very active in.

I think not taking things so personally would help. It's not always about "you."

V.

[redrhodie]

I think KnottedYet was pointing out that we are being baited to keep this thread alive by someone who actually may not be who she claims to be.

[Zen]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

[SadieKate]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

I beg to differ. TE does have a history prior to April 2007.

I know of at least one poster who was banned. The poster persisted in disobeying forum rules.

[Veronica]

Hey Zen I really like your end quote. I'm going to turn that into a poster for my classroom. And it's given me an idea for Read Across America Day which is celebrated on Dr. Seuss's birthday or close to it, if it's a weekend day.

V.

PS Yes, I do remember someone being asked to leave, but that's different from being "run off." Running off makes me picture pitch forks and brooms in hand...

[SadieKate]

Being asked to leave implies a choice. Said poster had their ability to post blocked. Matter of fact, there are three.

"Being run-off" - periodically I do feel that this forum has a supply of stones at hand. But that doesn't mean that there aren't remedies.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

PS Yes, I do remember someone being asked to leave, but that's different from being "run off." Running off makes me picture pitch forks and brooms in hand...

I found a list once that showed 2 or 3 "banned" former posters from a long while back on TE. It happens, and probably was totally justified.

As to being "run off"....well I can only recall a couple of people who would get angry and indignant when anyone disagreed with their statements. They would dramatically announce their departure, sometimes more than once, (Oh! the terrible loss!) and then lurk to see the reaction of course. They loved it when folks pleaded with them to stay. Total drama queens. If someone wants to leave a forum, just leave, without making Grande Announcements with a trumpet fanfare. I do not consider such drama antics to be true examples of being "run off".

TE really is friendlier and more accepting and diverse than any other forum I have ever come across on the internet.

[KnottedYet]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

My favorites are the ones who leave with great fanfare, talk trash about TE forums on another women's bike forum, then come quietly back to TE.

While that is deeply offensive (yes, I'm a d*ke, but not a "vegetarian earth goddess witch," just ask my minister at the next church potluck) it does say a LOT about the quality of TE forums. Despite vitriolic diatribes elsewhere, this is still a "home" on the internet for women cyclists and they come back.

In large part, I think, due to the amount of LEARNING that goes on here. We all love bikes. We all understand that love. And through bikes we meet folks we'd be unlikely to meet otherwise. We do a little bit of looking through someone else's eyes, simply because we *do* see eye-to-eye on bikes and riding.

Yeah, we *all* put our pedals in our mouths (good one, IFJane!) but we take a step back, take a second look, and work to understand what's going on from another's perspective. (and I don't "go after" the woman who said these things about me, because I can understand the closeted world she's struggling in don't want to "run her out" of TE. I know how I'd feel if I lost TE, and I can imagine how she'd feel if she lost TE. It's a learning experience.)

Now, if we could just rule the world...

[LoriO]

ok, group hug (((((((hug)))))))))

Now, anyone want to go shopping???