OK, I'd like to let this rest...but...

I'm not looking for sympathy or affirmation, but there's a serious gut check moment occurring.

Mom was making progress and taking responsibility for her drinking. She seemed prepared to quit if it made the difference between my dad being able to come home or not.

Then, dad died.

As we were cleaning up some stuff this weekend, we found a hidden bottle of scotch. Following the advice of this group and counselors, we said nothing (contrary to our prior responses...). Mom's a big girl...

Then, tonight I got a call from the facility staff saying Mom's drunk, dangerously so, and I need to deal with it.

Gut Check: I said "no", I can't intervene...if she's dangerous, send her to the ER and we'll pick her up later. But she's got to take responsibility for her actions.

I told them I wasn't trying to pass the buck, but if her drinking is a problem and they need to put her on notice that she'll get kicked out, then they have to tell her that and I can't protect her from her actions anymore.

Gut Check: Is this the right thing? THis is very uncomfortable...