Guilt!

[Duck on Wheels]

I agree with all of the above. Luckily your niece's prognosis is good, although the diagnosis sounds scary and the treatment sounds tough. Your niece and your sister will need you to be strong for a long time. That means that you need to take this trip, which you'd planned for a long time and timed to help you re-energize after a hectic work season.

Tell your sister you're worried and conflicted, but you can't change the plans and you realize you're going to need the strength you hope this trip will give you. Be sure to have travel insurance that covers an emergency return in case of sudden illness in the family (and that it includes sudden worsening of an illness diagnosed before starting the trip). Tell your sister you'll be back in a flash if you're needed, and that you'll otherwise be back on schedule, rested and ready to pitch in.

Oh, and bring back something that will really cheer everybody up, including lots of pictures.

Virtual hugs and whole flocks of butterflies to all of you.

[Brandi]

I agree with all of the above. Luckily your niece's prognosis is good, although the diagnosis sounds scary and the treatment sounds tough. Your niece and your sister will need you to be strong for a long time. That means that you need to take this trip, which you'd planned for a long time and timed to help you re-energize after a hectic work season.

Tell your sister you're worried and conflicted, but you can't change the plans and you realize you're going to need the strength you hope this trip will give you. Be sure to have travel insurance that covers an emergency return in case of sudden illness in the family (and that it includes sudden worsening of an illness diagnosed before starting the trip). Tell your sister you'll be back in a flash if you're needed, and that you'll otherwise be back on schedule, rested and ready to pitch in.

Oh, and bring back something that will really cheer everybody up, including lots of pictures.

Virtual hugs and whole flocks of butterflies to all of you.

You reminded me my sister asked me way back when to bring her a turtle necklace. Thank you for reminding me of that. maybe I should bring her and the girls matching one's.

[Brandi]

Thank you for all your advice (once again) I will try and work this out and not feel the way I do about it all. And kep telling myself it will be good for me to get away.

[Starfish]

I will try and work this out and not feel the way I do about it all.

I agree with all that has been written. I would just add...maybe don't work so hard at changing your feelings right now? Just keep moving along with your plans and your trip, know that you need to take care of yourself to keep taking care of your family (I know this from experience), and let the feelings be what they are. Don't beat yourself up for feeling happy when that happens, and don't beat yourself up for feeling guilty, if that happens.

Hope this doesn't come across as preachy...I know in my own life, the harder I fight whatever feelings I'm having, the longer they bother me. When I relax and accept how I'm feeling, the more difficult feelings depart more quickly.

You sound like a great sister and aunt. You are wise to take care of your health, your marriage, and your relaxation needs. Take care of yourself today, and let any feelings that come up on the trip take care of themselves on that day, when it arrives.

Again, hope not too preachy.

[Brandi]

I agree with all that has been written. I would just add...maybe don't work so hard at changing your feelings right now? Just keep moving along with your plans and your trip, know that you need to take care of yourself to keep taking care of your family (I know this from experience), and let the feelings be what they are. Don't beat yourself up for feeling happy when that happens, and don't beat yourself up for feeling guilty, if that happens.

Hope this doesn't come across as preachy...I know in my own life, the harder I fight whatever feelings I'm having, the longer they bother me. When I relax and accept how I'm feeling, the more difficult feelings depart more quickly.

You sound like a great sister and aunt. You are wise to take care of your health, your marriage, and your relaxation needs. Take care of yourself today, and let any feelings that come up on the trip take care of themselves on that day, when it arrives.

Again, hope not too preachy.

Not preachy at all but very insightful and wise. And you are right if I just relax and let things happen as they happen it might not be that bad. Thank you.

[KnottedYet]

You reminded me my sister asked me way back when to bring her a turtle necklace. Thank you for reminding me of that. maybe I should bring her and the girls matching one's.

Yes, do that! What a beautiful thing to do! Get one for you that matches, too; then all of you are connected and so is your trip to Hawaii. What a great idea!

[Brandi]

Yes, do that! What a beautiful thing to do! Get one for you that matches, too; then all of you are connected and so is your trip to Hawaii. What a great idea!

Thanks for 2nding the idea.

[nancielle]

Many years ago when my younger brother was dying, I was spending my weekends driving to New York State to spend time with him in the hospital. Friends of mine got me tickets to see a pro football game (Patriots/49ers.) I had never been to a pro game and really wanted to go. My immediate family was cool with it. My extended family thought I was the Spawn of Satan for even thinking of going. I talked it over with my brother and his response was that my not going wasn't going to change the course of his illness and that he was getting bored with the death vigil as it was and would welcome a conversation other than about his health. He was looking forward to talking about the game. I'm glad I went and got to talk to him about it.

I agree with what some of the other posters have stated: You need to take care of you before you can take care of others. Have a good time.