Liza- your advice is good. Don't be so hard on yourself I don't think you can say the wrong thing to me. If I knewmy sister would enjoy herself by going on a trip right now I would give it to her in an instant. But the fact is she is a very worried mom and I believe the guilt of having any fun right now would eat her up.
I really like the advice Mr Silver gave on using the term trip and not vacation.
I am sure up to the point of getting there I don't think I will get over feeling guilty. But one of the purposes of vacation is to leave things that are troubling you behind for a little bit. And maybe that is what I will need.
I meditate a lot, due to a bout with heart palapatations I had some years ago. I will look at this trip as a two week meditation to center me again. If my cup is not full how can I fill anyone else's?
And flybye you are right about "Don't lie! You would just heap guilt upon the way that you feel already".
It is hard to not feel guilt....she is dealing with one of the hardest things she has ever delt with in her life! And I am not. Is it I just wish it was me and not them?