Dear So and So

[lph]

Dear bike shop owner,

I know you have the coolest bike shop in town, where all the "real" roadies go to gawp at the latest stuff. I know winter commuters coming in to look at waterproof jackets are probably not your favourite customer. But I do not take kindly to you:

- interrupting me as I try to tell you what kind of jacket I'm interested in and what I intend to use it for, to try and sell me a skintight, extremely expensive white translucent racing jacket
- losing all interest when you finally realize I don't want it, and going to chat with my bike buddy instead who is a real roadie and thus ineffably more worthy

Not to mention how, when I try on another jacket:
- when I tell you it's too tight over the shoulders, you loudly and arrogantly DON'T BELIEVE ME, and have to come around and check for yourself?? Hellooo - I'm the one INSIDE it, I should know!
- when I'm not happy about the fit because it's too baggy and bunches up in front, you tell me "nah, it's not too baggy. You're not losing any races because of that!".
- getting into an involved discussion with bike buddy (yes, I'm POed at you too) as to how I really should buy this jacket, and settling a price with him (?!?) when I've made it quite obvious I don't want either one.

If it wasn't for your very kind, helpful and friendly co-owner, who's usually in the shop instead, I swear I'd never buy so much as a spare tube from you again.

[Brandy]

Dear self,

Get off the internet and go back to bed for an hour. You'll appreciate it later in the day. I promise.

Love,
me

[sundial]

Dear compounding pharmacy,

I had a Rx for something you compound frequently and provide gallons of it for the university athletes. So why were you too lazy to make mine in the remaining 15 minutes of work? You saw me and ducked behind the counter when I walked in and had one of your techs tell me to come back tomorrow. I mentioned I was from out of town and you didn't get it. It was my first and last visit to your sorry drug store.

Thanks to your 'tude, I'll not recommend anyone go to your drug store.

Oh, and I noticed you were moving out of the really nice location. Maybe it's because you lost too many customers to keep those expensive doors open?

Stick a suppository up yours and have a nice day!