Dear So and So

[Duck on Wheels]

We have a lovely train station here

http://images.google.no/imgres?imgur...3D10%26hl%3Dno

as well, but please don't give that particular brother a ticket to visit us. Palukaville is what he deserves. H€ll is too good for him, especially now in ski season.

[Trek420]

Lisa S. H., All this just makes me appreciate my siblings even more. I'm lucky to have picked them and not just saying that because Duck on Wheels is my sister.

[sundial]

Dear parents of lazy adult children,

Once again on this cold, blustery day in January you are struggling to pull the trash cans down to the curb while your adult son is inside enjoying t.v.

Your sons have lived at home since after high school. They have good jobs. They continue to live at home but do not contribute other than take up your driveway with a $40,000 quad cab 4 WD pickup.

They live with the comforts and conveniences you provide yet won't do squat to help. They remain in your home up to the day they marry. When it doesn't work out, they're back with yet another $40,000 quad cab 4 WD pickup. If they get better paying jobs, they get better trucks and stereos.

Do yourself a favor and rent a U Haul and load their stuff. Then hand them a map of their new accommodations and let them handle the U Haul rental fee, rent, utilities, laundry, entertainment, and other essentials. Can't handle them getting behind on their bills? Tough! Don't enable them any more. Do us all a favor and let them enter the higher tax bracket by finding a better job. If they can't find one in this town, let them move to another town that has better jobs. Let them figure it out because, of all things, I'm sick of paying disability for people who are too lazy to hold down a regular job but want my tax dollars to support their desire to hunt and fish.

Sincerely,
Fed Up With Moochin' Men

[lph]

Dear bike shop owner,

I know you have the coolest bike shop in town, where all the "real" roadies go to gawp at the latest stuff. I know winter commuters coming in to look at waterproof jackets are probably not your favourite customer. But I do not take kindly to you:

- interrupting me as I try to tell you what kind of jacket I'm interested in and what I intend to use it for, to try and sell me a skintight, extremely expensive white translucent racing jacket
- losing all interest when you finally realize I don't want it, and going to chat with my bike buddy instead who is a real roadie and thus ineffably more worthy

Not to mention how, when I try on another jacket:
- when I tell you it's too tight over the shoulders, you loudly and arrogantly DON'T BELIEVE ME, and have to come around and check for yourself?? Hellooo - I'm the one INSIDE it, I should know!
- when I'm not happy about the fit because it's too baggy and bunches up in front, you tell me "nah, it's not too baggy. You're not losing any races because of that!".
- getting into an involved discussion with bike buddy (yes, I'm POed at you too) as to how I really should buy this jacket, and settling a price with him (?!?) when I've made it quite obvious I don't want either one.

If it wasn't for your very kind, helpful and friendly co-owner, who's usually in the shop instead, I swear I'd never buy so much as a spare tube from you again.

[Brandy]

Dear self,

Get off the internet and go back to bed for an hour. You'll appreciate it later in the day. I promise.

Love,
me

[sundial]

Dear compounding pharmacy,

I had a Rx for something you compound frequently and provide gallons of it for the university athletes. So why were you too lazy to make mine in the remaining 15 minutes of work? You saw me and ducked behind the counter when I walked in and had one of your techs tell me to come back tomorrow. I mentioned I was from out of town and you didn't get it. It was my first and last visit to your sorry drug store.

Thanks to your 'tude, I'll not recommend anyone go to your drug store.

Oh, and I noticed you were moving out of the really nice location. Maybe it's because you lost too many customers to keep those expensive doors open?

Stick a suppository up yours and have a nice day!