Dear So and So

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Lisa, that sounds just like something I could have written about my eldest brother, but my mom is still alive. Remember your anger and resentment just damages you, not him. You could do like I did. I wrote all my diatribes and rants and accusations and vents out on a blog...Every once in a while, when I am guilted by my mom or somehow drawn back into his world, I go out and reread and post, and remind myself why I am severing all possible ties.

Thanks again every one of you. I was able to vent to my wonderful DH and also discussed it with a good girlfriend this morning on our walk. That felt good. I've decided that as a therapeutic medicine I am going to make an actual One-way ticket to Palukaville. I am a graphic illustrator so this will be a fun little project and a way to work through my feelings. I would love to actually mail it to him in an envelope with no note, ....but that would be pretty immature, so I'll just keep it as a symbolic statement.
I've always thought that creating something physical from a painful experience is a good thing, whether it's a drawing, poem, planting a flower or tree, a blog, voodoo doll, or whatever.
Mary- you are right about the stepping on eggshells business. That's the exact description my mother used to give me about her relationship with this brother of mine. He has some major issues and though he took some anger management sessions once years ago, he never got the real one-on-one type of longterm therapy he needs so badly. He won't admit he has a problem, blames everyone else for everything, and I've finally had enough of it.
It's a sad thing to give up on the idea of having him as a true brother, but it's been going on long enough and I want to move forward in a positive way now, and leave him and his creepy anger issues behind me. The bad vibes will always be there when I think of him, but I will try to keep myself positive about my part in it all. I am working on not being angry and resentful, as I do know that all that does is make me feel bad, and I shouldn't feel bad because I haven't done anything bad! (what a concept, huh?)
It's good to know I'm not alone in dealing with such things.