Serious Issue: Advice for Dealing with Alcoholics

[Mr. Bloom]

Al- anon is a program that doesn't advertise : attraction, not promotion. That being said, it is nice to see how many folks out there have gained some sort of life improvement ( or, serenity if you want to call it that) from the program.

Well, best laid plans of mice and men so often go awry

There are no al-anon groups in the southern half of Indiana, but there appear to be electronic meetings, so I'm waiting on information.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

There are no al-anon groups in the southern half of Indiana, but there appear to be electronic meetings, so I'm waiting on information.

How can that be!? Seems like they have local meetings in just about every small town or large city I've ever read a newspaper from. It seems so hard to believe that an entire half of a state would have nothing.

[Trek420]

How can that be!?

Pretty much my reaction. Wherever there are 2 or more people, folding chairs and a coffee pot there's a meeting log off and go find it

[LBTC]

How can that be!?

I was thinking just that! Williams Lake, in the middle of nowhere, with a population of less than 15,000 people, had Al-Anon meetings all the time.....I don't think that was just a reflection of a high percentage of alcoholics living there... hmmmmm

Keep trying, Mr. You'll find them,

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[KnottedYet]

Here's a list of about 150 cities with al-anon meetings in Indiana. Albion thru Winimac, alphabetical. Is one of these in Southern Indiana?
http://www.indiana-al-anon.org/Meetings_By_City.htm

Each listing gives the city, address, day/time, group name, and name of the building they meet in.

(there are about 10-15 listings per page, and about 15 pages, so it may take some scrolling to find the one you want. Many cities and towns have more than one meeting, so they take up a lot of space on the pages)

[KnottedYet]

This one is a map specific to Southern Indiana and Kentucky. http://www.kyal-anon.org/

You click on the find-a-meeting link, then click the county you want. It might be easier to navigate than the huge alphabetical listing for Indiana.

[Mr. Bloom]

Wow! I was clearly having trouble navigating the al-anon site this morning! I promise, I was sober!

This is hopeful since one of these meetings in lunchtime across the street from my office. How 'about that

[KnottedYet]

Perfect!

[Skierchickie]

Mr. Silver,

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. I think you are doing the right thing - that just isn't always the easy thing. All you can really do is love her and support her when she makes good choices. I don't think it's any wonder that she is using right now - she just lost her husband of many years. If there ever was a moment in her life when she might slip, this is it. I'm not saying it's good, or that it should be ignored - just that now is when it would happen, if it were going to. If she is pretty new to recovery (or not in recovery), or was only staying sober for your father, then she probably doesn't have the tools she needs. Recovery is hard, and some people can't do it without a support group. I haven't read through this entire thread, as it is many pages long, so I don't know if she has just said "I'll stop", or if she has a support group (meetings, people to talk to, daily meditation books, etc).

Take care of yourself - I hope you've found a group. Al-Anon and open AA meetings (which I actually prefer, as feeling more real and gut-level) can do wonders. I'm embarrassed to say how long since I've been to a meeting. No excuse for that, but my friends are almost all recovery people. Talk talk talk. For you. And listen listen listen. You can't fix your mother, but you can learn how to deal with this. It took me a good 6 months to a year of Al-Anon before I felt like I "got it". I thought I got it at my very first meeting, but somehow, after going to meeting after meeting for a long time, I realized that I had never gotten it at all. I guess I'm just suggesting that you not expect overnight results.

Hang in there. And find yourself a sponsor, if you haven't yet - it really helps.

[Starfish]

Take care of yourself - I hope you've found a group. Al-Anon and open AA meetings (which I actually prefer, as feeling more real and gut-level) can do wonders.

+1 on finding a group (or several) right now. I have been to both, and for me, the best local one right now is Al Anon. The different meetings vary. Keep going 'til you find one that feels safe and helpful for you. LOTS of support there for you in ways you might not even realize you need right now.

Mr., you know something of the story of my folks. Don't know if I have ever shared here that My mom died first, and my dad, left behind, was the alcoholic. I know something of these struggles. PM me any time.