Serious Issue: Advice for Dealing with Alcoholics

[silver]

I wanted to elaborate on an issue that has been brought up.

Yes, they are elderly and very unlikely to change. So the attitude is what's the harm of letting them have their alcohol. Basically I would have that attitude and that is the attitude that the doctor has had....

but the context is so much more complicated than this. MIL has celiac and FIL has diabetes. FIL has dementia. The dementia is a result of longterm diabetes and alcohol abuse. The AL facility that they were in was OK with the regulated amount of alcohol each day. 6 ounces to each (served twice a day in three ounces).

But as FIL's dementia and overall condition decreases, his overall health is decreasing and he was not tolerating the alcohol. His blood sugar's were impossible to regulate. The supervisor of the nursing staff told us that they could not continue to provide nursing care to him (monitoring his blood sugar and insulin) as long as he was drinking. During this time, He's been in and out of the ER, ICU and now in the skilled nursing care. He's off alcohol and detoxed and doing quite well actually. But still wants his drink when he gets back to the AL. The Nursing staff told us they would NOT take him back if he was drinking any alcohol.

MIL was doing OK with the 6 ounces/day. AL was fine with that. But MIL was getting another source and would binge on that intermitantly. she did this last night. She fell and hurt herself. I fully expect that the ALF will contact us on Monday and tell us that they cannot continue to accept this liability.

This is the third time that I've taken her to the ER in this similar state. Over the last 2 years. Each time thinking that she could have had a stroke. The first time, she was drunk with a blood alcohol of .38. The second time it was actually a stroke.

If they actually took care of themselves.....I'd say go ahead, drink yourselves to death. But it's not that way. They need daily assistance for regular daily activities, like bathing and dressing. No facility is going to accept the liabiltiy of their drunken accidents. We cannot get nursing care to cover them when they are drunk.

Yes, I've enabled them. I've bought the alcohol. I established the limited drinking schedule. It worked when they adherred to that schedule. but they got more from another source and binge. (edit: on rereading this, I sound sarcastic and defensive, but honestly I'm not, this is just how it is and I'm at my wit's end, I'm really listening to what you all have to say, it helps)

so what do I do? Stop buying it? (I do not believe that MIL's detox would be that bad)

Oh, yet another thing, MIL's liver is failing. She does OK with a limited amount of alcohol, but when she drinks more that the 6 ounces her liver enzymes increase.

sooooooo complicated.

but thank you all so much for discussing this with us. it so helps to see all the perspectives and viewpoints and ideas. Please keep up the info. I'm still digesting it.