Quote Originally Posted by Tuckervill View Post
She's going to drink heavily no matter what you do. If you tell her, she'll drink. If you let her come, she'll drink. Alcohol abusers will use any excuse--or none.

Anything other than absolute honesty is enabling her. Enforcing your boundaries is the only honorable way to behave in this situation.
This is all completely true.
As an alcoholic, she will drink until she stops drinking. Doesn't matter if you say anything or not, or if you listen to her woes and are supportive or not. If she were to get a raise at work, she'd drink to celebrate and get drunk. If she got fired, she'd drink to comfort herself and get drunk. You drink because you're happy, you drink because you're depressed. You drink because you're surrounded by friends and having a good time, you drink because you're alone and sad. You drink because you drink.
She needs to work through her problem and get help through other people who are working to stop drinking. Sympathetic listening by well meaning friends does not help her. AA might seem corny but it works for a lot of people. She needs to get help on her own as many times as she needs to. The only way she will ever be able to "control" her drinking is by living a life where she is not drinking at ALL. This concept often takes years for an alcoholic to come to grips with, and years of trial and error.
The best way to be her friend is to be honest with her.