Dear So and So

[Crankin]

Dear Body,

I would like to get through one illness and have Just A Cold. I would like to go more than 2 weeks without going to see my friendly nurse practitioner, who thinks I'm crazy. I would like one of the new asthma medications to actually help me when I get sick and not make me feel worse.

How did I ride my bike 3,000 miles last year? Thankfully, this mostly happens in the winter.

Finally, I would like to be able to restrain myself from riding when I know I should wait another day....

Robyn

[Thistle]

Dear troublesome family members

Please leave us alone so we can get on with our lives.

Dear powers-that-be

Please help me find the courage to start my lit review today

Dear beautiful bike and tired old body

Thank you for a wonderful ride this morning.

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear cough,
Enough already. It's going on 10 months! At least behave like some kind of normal cough so next time I take you to the doctor I can get a useful diagnosis!

[trickytiger]

Dear Employer:

I can't believe you are making me WORK ON A MINE for FOUR MONTHS while living in a hotel room in total isolation somewhere in the middle of Nevada. While my bank account will appreciate the massive amounts of overtime that working 12/7 will accumulate, this really puts a dent in my personal life. I'm sure that my boyfriend and my bike will not remember what I look like upon return. After all, they only had two weeks to get used to the idea. Please, reconsider your decision to destroy any desire that your young female scientists have to work for you.

Sincerely, me.



Dear Me,

I really encourage you to have the guts and perseverance to follow the career that you really want to have. Yes, getting into school is tough for this career. Yes, you do have to quit work first to take the classes you need to apply for grad school. Yes, you may not make it. Sure, you feel like your mid-twenties were wasted on getting a degree that you aren't going to use anymore after four months is up(see above letter). But I applaud you for figuring out what kind of life you want to have, and what is really important to you. You only live once. Oh, and if you don't take this chance, you'll be stuck working on drill rigs, housing developments, and mine sites for the next thirty years. Your choice, babe.

Love, Me.

[five one]

Dear male evening custodian,

Why is it you decide 4:55 pm is the right time to prop the door open and clean the only women's restroom in the building? Some of us would like to leave for our commute home with an empty tank. And I don't mean the car. We're all gone by 5:15. Why not clean then?? Sheesh .

[Lifesgreat]

Dear boys,

P L E A S E do not bring Valentine's Day flowers to my teenage daughter. She is still my baby.

Signed,

Mama Bear

[massbikebabe]

Dear Mama Bear:

Please don't worry if my man cub shows up at your door. He spent two months worth of allowance to buy his GF roses today. He is a very handsome and loving young man. He is very good to his mother. He went out and got his mother an IPOD last year so that she could walk and listen. He calls every day after school before practice to make sure I am o.k. He does chores around the house without complaint, and cooks a mean salmon. He will make some lucky young lady a good wife.

mother of a beautiful son

[LadyinWhite]

Dear colleague:

You've known for about 5 years now that I do not like you. I don't like your arrogance. I don't like your need to insert yourself and your oh so amazing wisdom into every conversation. I don't like your incessant whining whenever you feel over worked. We are all working hard to make a living, no one, least of all me needs to hear your woe is me every time we cross paths.

Please stop trying to ingratiate yourself into my good graces. Accept the fact that I don't like you and don't want to talk to you. Nod, say good morning if you must, I will, out of pure civil courtesy sake respond with a proper greeting but then continue on your way and leave me to get through my day without being reminded of exactly why I can't stand you in the first place.

Best regards,
T.

[Velobambina]

Dear Earth -- Send us temps above freezing & some sun to melt the ice/snow/slush quickly. This February has been a killer, weather-wise, and I want to get back to riding outside regularly. While Coach Troy is surely making me stronger, I'd prefer to let the trainer rest again and to use it only occasionally.
Did Punxy Phil promise an early spring?

[Pax]

Dear White Men,

You already rule the world, please stop being such whiny winners. Every woman who does not find you witty, interesting, worthy of her time, or who does NOT want to sleep with you is not a (fill in the blank with your usual vile hate filled words). In short, get the hell over yourselves and stop acting like whiny little boys.

Sincerely,

Another woman who is tired of you.