Suggestions to avoid a divorce!

[Mr. Bloom]

Mr. Silver, what do you think?

ahem...not wanting to take away from the other advice noted above...and wanting to assume that he has a head on his shoulders too, I'll be a bit more pragmatic:

If the fear is something unreasonable on his part, remind him that you are an equal in the relationship and that you have the right to have something for you.

If the fear is space, offer to get rid of something else.
If the fear is financial, offer to cut back on something else.
If the fear is "how many bikes can one woman have", explain the yearning for and benefit of pursuing variety in cycling.
If the fear is more time riding, less with him...take him to lbs and get him fitted for one of his own.

I encourage couples to have a predetermined spending limit that requires consultation. If you want to buy something over say $400, then you will consult one another first. But if it costs $399, no consultation is necessary. This places value on the individual's rights while noting respect for the value of the partnership in managing budgetary issues.

If he's just a jerk, make note of your response on the DH? post

Before I got on this forum, it meant d@$k head to me! Sometimes maybe they're interchangeable????

[Bad JuJu]

I've gone through this kind of thing with my dh, too. I finally just had to realize for myself and then explain to him that since I get up and go to work every day, and I have a regular saving plan, and I'm not overextended financially, then if I want another bike I'll bloody well buy another bike.

Of course this works for us because we have always, in 25+ years of marriage, maintained separate financial accounts. Sure, we pay the mortgage and other household expenses together, but for all other money, to each his/her own. So if you have your own money and you're not deep in debt, what's the big deal?

And of course, he still razzes me for having too many bikes (3, and one's a cheap cruiser), but I can stand that.

[lph]

We have separate accounts too, but have a joint account to pay all the bills. Original post was just joking, right? With our set-up I can go buy anything I like, if that's what I want to use my own money on.

(But I do get black looks when I sneak Bike into our very narrow hall overnight to thaw and dry out, as it makes it practically impossible to get in or out... I usually wait til really late, when he's not going to go out in the hall anymore ;-) )

[Bad JuJu]

Original post was just joking, right?

Yes, I assumed the original post was largely joking, though it did bring up an issue that many of us face at home--how to finance our cycling habit! So it's interesting to be able to discuss our strategies and *ahem* tricks.

[mimitabby]

I encourage couples to have a predetermined spending limit that requires consultation. If you want to buy something over say $400, then you will consult one another first. But if it costs $399, no consultation is necessary. This places value on the individual's rights while noting respect for the value of the partnership in managing budgetary issues.

we have a deal like this too. Used to be $50 when we were poor, now it's $250.00

I had to set that rule because my DH is very impulsive. Worse, sometimes the expensive things would be GIFTS for me, which made it really ugly.
Yes, it's beautiful and I love this, but that $$ was supposed to do X...

[lph]

I had to set that rule because my DH is very impulsive. Worse, sometimes the expensive things would be GIFTS for me, which made it really ugly.
Yes, it's beautiful and I love this, but that $$ was supposed to do X...

Oh, right. Yeah, I can see it could get kind of uncomfortable if my dh went and bought something horrifically expensive, which meant that he then had no money to... go on vacation with us for, for example. We don't save up or budget ahead for that kind of thing.

[DarcyInOregon]

Last year I met the wife of the LBS owner. He owns one road bike. She owns five different bikes, all of which she uses. She said she was going to tell me something very wise and to pass it on to other bicyclists. Here is what she said: "When people come up to you and ask you why you own five bikes, you say, because I haven't purchased my sixth bike yet."

Darcy

[Mr. Bloom]

Here is what she said: "When people come up to you and ask you why you own five bikes, you say, because I haven't purchased my sixth bike yet."

Darcy

Now that's a woman who knows what she thinks. I'd like her!

[silver]

Just how much? You know I only have TWO bikes. Maybe I need to be more like her!!!