Suggestions to avoid a divorce!

[Aint Doody]

I have been lurking on the mtbike threads. I lllooooovvvvveeee road biking, but I also have a yen to ride in the woods. So today I went into the lbs and have purchased a Trek WSD 4300. It's not a really expensive bike (especially compared to my road bike), but I fear my husband will throw me out! Maybe he won't notice??!! I don't really have that many bikes--just Gertrude that lives at our store, my hybrid, my road bike, and now this. OOOOOHHHH! Help me, girls!!!

Susan

[Mr. Bloom]

I know you said "help me girls", but this is a time when the male perspective may be helpful...but first a question: Why do you think that he will throw you out?

If you don't want my thoughts...simply don't answer the question and I'll butt out.

[stacie]

Have mind blowing sex and then tell him.

[mimitabby]

This is kind of funny. I waited until my dh and I were riding before I told him about the Mondonico frame I just bought. We were "Competing" working hard... and i sprung it on him.
lol

[Dianyla]

Have mind blowing sex and then tell him.

Yep, this is exactly what I was going to suggest.

Or, ya know, bake him a pie or somethin'.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Or you could looked surprised and say innocently "Golly, where did that come from??" and then wink fetchingly.
Or try "So what are you gonna do about it, Big Boy?"
Or how about "I got it to match my helmet."

Seriously, I've handled this with buying multiple banjos by patiently explaining that each one suited a particular use or playing need. This approach would fit beautifully here.

Mr. Silver, what do you think?

[BikeMomma]

Have mind blowing sex and then tell him.

Genius!!!!
Just be sure to tell him before he falls asleep, or you'll have to start from scratch!

~BikeMomma

[emily_in_nc]

You'll be fine! I bought a great used mountain bike (Titus Racer X) on ebay last summer. DH doesn't even mountain bike, really; he has a cheapie entry-level hardtail but discovered that all the jostling of trail riding didn't appeal to him at all. But he was wonderfully supportive, even if it means I occasionally ride alone or with a girlfriend on the trails. We do just about everything else together, so I think he kinda respects that I found something *just I* like to do. I'd love for him to join me, but if he won't, I'm not going to give it up!

I bet your DH will also be supportive. Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll even want to join you on the dirty side!

Emily

[mimitabby]

does your DH have more than 1 bike or more than 1 car?

ahem...

[Blueberry]

Buy him a mountain bike too?

I'm lucky - I have a *very* indulgent DH

[pooks]

Mind blowing sex is NEVER a bad answer!

What will he complain about? The cost? Too many bikes? Which issue will bother him?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Genius!!!!
Just be sure to tell him before he falls asleep, or you'll have to start from scratch!

~BikeMomma

What if he tends to fall asleep immediately afterwards?- you'd have to tell him DURING!

[Dianyla]

What if he tends to fall asleep immediately afterwards?- you'd have to tell him DURING!

Whisper in his ear how you just really want to get DIRTY!

[Duck on Wheels]

Well, here's what my dh did when he bought the dishwasher I didn't think I wanted ...

dh (calling me at work): Uhhmmm, I have an admission to make. I just bought a dishwasher.
me: Oh well. Bought is bought.
dh: So you're not mad?
me: Not much point in being mad now, is there?
dh: Ok, then. NOW I'll go out and buy that dishwasher.

Think that might work for you? In this case it had to be by phone. DH can't carry off a lie face to face.

[Mr. Bloom]

Mr. Silver, what do you think?

ahem...not wanting to take away from the other advice noted above...and wanting to assume that he has a head on his shoulders too, I'll be a bit more pragmatic:

If the fear is something unreasonable on his part, remind him that you are an equal in the relationship and that you have the right to have something for you.

If the fear is space, offer to get rid of something else.
If the fear is financial, offer to cut back on something else.
If the fear is "how many bikes can one woman have", explain the yearning for and benefit of pursuing variety in cycling.
If the fear is more time riding, less with him...take him to lbs and get him fitted for one of his own.

I encourage couples to have a predetermined spending limit that requires consultation. If you want to buy something over say $400, then you will consult one another first. But if it costs $399, no consultation is necessary. This places value on the individual's rights while noting respect for the value of the partnership in managing budgetary issues.

If he's just a jerk, make note of your response on the DH? post

Before I got on this forum, it meant d@$k head to me! Sometimes maybe they're interchangeable????