Should Men be allowed in a Women's Forum?

[caligurl]

What we are spared of here is: "I rode such and such in 2 hours" to get a response of; "well, I did it in 55 minutes, with only 1 pedal!"
the constant testosterone challenge. Here, you might not be the best rider
but the better (?) riders aren't going to grind you into the dirt for sharing your achievements.

oh AMEN! i hate all the chest pounding that goes on in the co-ed forums!!!!! give me a break.....

[caligurl]

i'm a day late and dollar short, as usual.....

but that's ok.... i'm not eating cookies and pie right now.... i'm being good!

[Dianyla]

Chiming in late (as usual ) with two random thoughts:

The women's only locker room analogy simply doesn't work, since our "locker room" happens to have glass windows.

Team Estrogen focuses on selling women's cycling equipment and apparel. My brother has big thighs and happens to prefer the way that the women's PI Microsensor shorts fit around the legholes. Should Men be barred from buying women's cycling clothes?

[bcipam]

oh AMEN! i hate all the chest pounding that goes on in the co-ed forums!!!!! give me a break.....

Cali if you recall - alot of that chest pounding you speak of - comes from women!!!

I don't think the art of boasting is limited to women. I'm fairly active on another forum and I have to say even though coed - it's monopolized by 3 maybe 4 women. The guys are secondary. On another forum, where folks are more civilized everyone has a voice. OK some threads - like "should I convert my 1962 whatever to a singlespeed, and what tools do I need to do that" may get more guy input than gal but that's more becasue the guys are just more interested. We women also have our topics and occasionally some poor guy pipes up.

Dianyla said it - anyone can read these post, the posts are not off limit to the general public. We have no secret code cause we are women to get in. If you are sensitive about some of the discussions you probably should not participate cause none of us knows who lurks about.

[roadfix]

I'm a guy and I've been here for several months now. When I visit TE I usually limit myself to visiting and posting mainly in the maintenance and California subforums where my interest lies. I visit other cycling forums as well.....this one just happens to be specifically geared towards women.

[bcipam]

well there you go - who knows, maybe half of the TE crew has a Y chromosone - we just don't know.

Thanks Road for being honest.

[Aint Doody]

And what have the nice men here hurt? C'mon, y'all--get over it.

[donnambr]

Like a true Gemini, my opinions on this are conflicted and certainly not consistent. I am a regular BF participant also, perhaps more often there than here. That's because I love to argue the minutiae of traffic/safety issues. I admit I'm a bit strange/nerdy, so I would never think that would be a popular activity here. That said, there is something so welcoming and accepting about TE, that I keep coming back. Perhaps it's because while I enjoy having both women and men friends, I do love that mostly-girl-only time.

The other reason relates to what caligurl touched upon. Not to sound too much like a college textbook, but some of the "institutional sexism/misogyny" on that other list is way over the top for me - and I suspect that I have a somewhat higher tolerance for it than caligurl. (not meant to be offensive in any way, cg, we all have our limits) I think it prevents many women from participating, and the ones that do are often so thick-skinned, they are rather intolerant of women who are not. I don't think that's right, there many women who aren't particularly outspoken/assertive, and those of us who are can get downright exhausted holding our own constantly. So, I fully support the women-only rule of the women's forum there. It seems like any discussion of a women's health or clothing issue there turns into a thread to post pornographic images of women. There's also the more subtle issue of opinions posted by females from a female-specific perspective being totally dumped on. It even happens with the advocacy & safety topics - crazy! What century are we living in again? I think there are guys on BF who would be great additions to a mostly women discussion, but how to distinguish? You can't on a forum that large, so I think the best policy is to ban all men. Sad, but practical.

So, back to TE. Strangely enough, I am not in favor of limiting participation to women. The badly-behaving men either get bored fast, we women make quick work of them and they leave, or Susan (I presume) makes them leave. Of the men who stay, I have never read a post from them that I found offensive, even if I do not agree with what they are saying. I think Lisa's cat analogy is spot-on in this case: the guys are cautious and tread lightly. I can live with that. My cat certainly approves.

[siume99]

Interesting turn of events just happened. I just bought a dual bottle holder for the seat of my tri bike. My predicament was that I also wanted a seat bag for spare tube, tools, cell phone, etc. Today, I Googled “triathlon seat bag.” Low and behold I found a link to your forums.

I apologize that I don’t remember who said this, but someone said they wouldn’t kick George Hincapie out for asking questions about a hypothetical women’s clothing line. A salesperson should understand how the product will help a customer. Also, they should understand the short comings and how to overcome them. Your “tips-n-tricks” section caught my eye. If I sold bikes and accessories, I’d probably want to do my research on your website to “satisfy each and every customer.” (No sexual intention, it was the Sears motto.) My LBSs don’t have many female associates (if any). I might be wrong, but I’m guessing some women feel intimidated walking into situations like this. If there are men and women looking for tools to better serve their customers, then why not allow it?

I currently work as an engineer. I’ve found that diversity (age, sex, race, job duties, backgrounds…etc) create a stronger design. Having these different points of view help uncover the best answer. I mention this, because I assume you sometimes post questions on various topics that somehow relate to the men in your life; fathers, sons, boyfriends, husbands, training partners, coworkers, that idiot driver that says “nice @$$.” Not everyone has the confidence or opportunity to flat out ask sensitive/personal questions in person. That is one advantage of the WWW. Anonymity. If it makes you uncomfortable for a stranger to read what you wrote, don’t write it. Even with your sign in name you have anonymity. As Thumper’s mother told him, “if you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I think it’s foolish to not get all the information you can on a subject. No one says you have to agree with what you find. You are an individual who is free to make his/her own decisions.

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

[margo49]

.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points.
?

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

[mimitabby]

I

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

Dear Siume
Welcome to TE. I am glad you are inobtrusively reading and enjoying TE.
You have brought up some very valid points, nothing is private on this forum
and people need to be reminded of that fact every now and then.
m

[salsabike]

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

[siume99]

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

I wasn’t implying that I/men raise the quality of TE. I think help sustain would be a better implication. From the basic standpoint, men currently are allowed to post.

When asking a question, why would someone ask if they already knew the answer? Is it for confirmation or was it because they brainstormed before and didn’t come up with the answer that seemed to work? No one is correct all of the time. Sometimes one (or multiple) person(s) has the answer in the group. Other times it’s just a seedling that the answer grows out of.

A “forum” is successful because it’s a community of people. If I knew, without a doubt, that a particular person had the answer to my problem, why would I voice my question to everyone else? Why not personally email or call that one individual? When you limit your audience, you limit the number of opportunities.

If someone posts a question and doesn’t find a response that works for their situation, then the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for congratulations on an accomplishment and didn’t get any, the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for an understanding shoulder and none offered, the forum failed. But, if one person offered the celebration or shoulder, then that one person met the expectations of the original poster. The forum was successful.

I found TE because of my triathlon seat bag w/ water bottle ordeal. Obviously, my LBSs haven’t offered suggestions that fit the bill. On this one particular issue, they have failed. When I do find what works for me, I’ll stop by and share my experience. I want to maximize the chances of finding a solution, and help others at the same time.

Thanks for the welcomes Mimitabby and Salsabike.

[Bluetree]

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch!

[jeannierides]

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch!

Yeah... what she said...

My SO did the same thing... He *Googled* Gunnar, and got the thread discussing the possibility of my new bike - which has btw been ordered!!