Thread Drift

**CyclChyk** · 11-09-2006, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.

We have 3 indoor cats, and I only vacuum once every 3 weeks or so...always seeing little fur tumbleweeds rolling by. Vacuuming is just not that high on the list. It's hard enough cleaning 3 cat boxes every day, but I'm good about doing that part. (crabcakes, anyone?..)

Kelowna, I don't think it would hurt to sit down with your daughter and let her know what is expected of her if she lives in the household. Somehow you must let her know that being grownup includes having respect and consideration for others.

Very well said. Well...... except for the crabcakes. That part was kinda gross.....

**Trek420** · 11-09-2006, 06:19 PM

kelownagirl "Then she kicked the dog......I was tempted to remind her that it was MY home and she was living here FOR FREE, and that at 23, you'd think she MIGHT do a little housework beyond her own stuff. I bit my tongue and walked away because she's always much ruder than I and will win a b*tch contest so why get into it. I don't think there's anything bad going on her life to make her obnoxious - I think it's just her way."

I don't have kids (that I know of

) but no one harms my dog. I'd like to think that if someone (Let's say a 23 year old kid I did not know about shows up at my doorway "Hi Mom") and kicked my dog she'd find out what a deal she'd getting by having to pay for rent/utilities/phone/tv/food....

Why not charge her rent?

I think sometimes people do not appreciate what's free. If you feel that she should get free rent you could put the money in an account when she does move out .... give it back to start her off

.

If she doesn't move out...use the cash to get a Riv.

**CyclChyk** · 11-09-2006, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Trek420

kelownagirl "Then she kicked the dog......
I don't have kids (that I know of

) but no one harms my dog.

I so wanted to go off on that one but bit my tongue. You did it much more ladylike than I would have.

**Trek420** · 11-09-2006, 06:30 PM

Well, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong kelownagirl, but misstreating people sometimes starts with animals. She needs to learn its never ok to strike another person (unless clearly self defense and then all bets are off) and to treat others with respect.

Let her start with animals.

Whatever's got her goat there are lots of other ways to deal with it....find a hill to climb, that works for me. That's why I'm so (cough cough, ignore the riders laughing hystericly in the background) good at climbing.

And so the dogs don't fear her, maybe she should be the one to feed and brush them?

**Lise** · 11-09-2006, 07:04 PM

....can't...keep...up....

OK, in no particular order: I rode my bike (the Green Hornet) yesterday, for the first time in a month (+). To and from work + about 6 hard fast miles on the lakefront. All I had time for, but MAN did it feel good. The temps have been in the 60s for two days, incredible in November. Last fling. Colder, probably snow this weekend.

Went for a brisk, nearly 2 hr walk with a friend who used to be my running buddy, but is preggers now, and is a walking buddy. She's an OB/GYN doc, so we can talk about stuff no one else could stand to listen to from work. Plus everything else in our lives.

Things with J are good. I'm getting to look at my desire to run away when someone treats me well. No one's ever treated me this well. Ever. So. This is what it's s'posed to feel like. Nice.

Enough about me...and I don't mean to leave anyone out, but of course I will. Lisa, welcome to TD, no invitation needed, but a warped sense of humor required. Think you've proven that one. Little gnome men?!? heheheheheheh! Davy Jones and David Cassidy being BIG favorites of mine. Sad day when I got taller than Davy Jones. By three inches. Briskly rubbing....HA! HAHAHAHA! Gross!

X-your job is a tough one. Mine is tough sometimes. Sometimes I can dissociate, sometimes I can't. It usually gets me in the end, when I get home. I've gotten better at lovingly detaching, but some days are really hard. Feel free to PM me if you ever want.

MP-great to see you! I'm missing the fishdr, too.

Dar-feel better. I know it sucks and feels rotton that IL guy's not calling. In retrospect, I see it as the Universe/God/whatever plucking these *wrong for me* men right out of my life. "Move along sir. Don't block the aisle for the *right* one." If this guy were able to appreciate you as you should be appreciated, he'd be doing it already. Sorry though. You know I know how it feels.

KN-have a wonderful time.

'night, TD. Sleep tight.

**kelownagirl** · 11-09-2006, 07:06 PM

You are SO right about the animal thing. That's the part that really gets to me. Just so you know, I am not avoiding dealing with her, I could just see that it would have deteriorated into a shouting match if I had responded to her at that moment. I decided to wait until I was calmer, and she was calmer, and let her know that her attitude and behaviour is unacceptable. Sometimes when I respond in anger, I say things I don't intend to. She's home this evening and once I get the little guy into bed, I'm going to have a talk with her.

Thanks for the wise advice and for allowing me to vent.

barb

PS Trek - why not charge her rent? Well, bit of a longer story but I really wanted her to go to university and I told her at one time that I couldn't afford to send her to school out of town but as long as she was in school, she could live here rent free. My mom made that deal with me and it worked well. Of course, I didn't snarl at her and criticize her housekeeping...

**CyclChyk** · 11-09-2006, 07:11 PM

KEL - she probably was trying to get a rise out of you so the fact that you DIDN'T react probably did more good than if you had.

DAR - I thinks its in the "guy manual" not to call a chick for at least 3 (as much as a week) days after the "date". Otherwise they start thinking that you think they are hooked or easily swayed by your will, blah blah....... I wouldn't worry about it yet. Its just testosterone running its course. After all, we are talking about YOU. Of course he's gonna call

LISE - good for your accomplishments today! However you put me to shame...

**snapdragen** · 11-09-2006, 07:33 PM

I should be packing, instead here I am.

I'm very excited

**jobob** · 11-09-2006, 07:41 PM

Have the Big Fun !

And remember, put a chip on 22 for me.

**annie** · 11-09-2006, 07:44 PM

Kelowna - did you have your talk with your daughter yet? If so, I hope it went well! If not, good luck. Sometimes its really hard to love your kids!

Are you feeling better yet, Dar? Hope so. Food poisoning is very icky.

Are you purring when you talk about J, Lise?

It was very nice here this week, too, but all goes downhill tomorrow.

Bmo3, this is probably a stupid question, but I've been wondering why it's okay for you to run but not any other exercise? I always think of running as more strenuous than biking. So I'm confused.....

Elections are over!!! I'm not really going to bring up politics, TE, just happy that they're over and my DH won his race. Whew!! It wasn't as close as we expected so that was even better. I'm hoping life slows down to a normal crazy pace now instead of the hyper-crazy pace it was at.

Wishing good trips to all the travelers!

All those little gnome men?? I LIKED them! Short, but cute (well, they were cute at one time.) I wouldn't've had to look up to talk to them if I had ever met them.....

Scary question - anyone here ever even think about having a boob job? I must be having a mid-life crisis!!! Maybe it'll pass!

annie

**salsabike** · 11-09-2006, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by snapdragen

I should be packing, instead here I am.

I'm very excited

Hey, it's the Vegas trip ALREADY? Cool! Payoff for sitting through that shpiel. The first thing I'd do would be to ride the New York New York rollercoaster. (then my neck would hurt for three years)

Originally Posted by crazycanuck

Oh, I just have to share this story from the BBC
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/e...ar/6132140.stm

C

Ah, another Darwin Award candidate. CC, do you get the Darwin Award books where you live? If not, tell me and I'll send you one immediately! No kidding.

Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.

Salsabike,
we had to give the "water needles" to our beloved Maine coon kitty Pearl 3-4 times a week for a whole year and a half. She had almost died from kidney failure, but has now apparently totally recovered. Pretty miraculous...but then again she was only 5 years old and so she was able to bounce back. Just wanted to say I know the dreary fluid injection routine, and you have my sympathies. Is someone helping you hold her while you do it?- I couldn't have done it without DH holding Pearl steady.

Leo DiCaprio....hmmm. It just seems to me no matter how old he gets he still looks like a boy. Gave me the creeps in Titanic watching him make out, he looked like pedophile bait! Doesn't turn me on. I may show my age here by naming other male stars who had that boy/baby face look and wound up in their 40's looking like weird baby Yoda-gnomes: Davy Jones, Paul McCartney, David Cassidy, Mickey Rooney....anybody know of other examples of "boylymen"?

Lisa S.H: 1) YOU are funny as hell! 2) Oh, yeah, Mr. Salsa holds her. I cannot figure out how one person could do all that. You'd definitely need a third arm/hand at least. Whoof.

Originally Posted by maillotpois

Salsa - good news about the Beeper!!!! I'm also wondering about Fishjr and the bees.... I hope they're settled in well. The PP just finished soccer and is all fired up about a new friend of mine I met in my mediation class who has horses. So we're spending a lot of time hanging out with them at the barn, and she's learning care and grooming. Which is great. And free. Unlike lessons, ownership, etc.

I was a total horse lover at that age too. Still wish I'd had one...PP being able to do that for free is the best deal possible! Most of the fun, little of the $$$. She's really a cutie in those pictures.

Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.

I'm briskly rubbing some frozen raviolis over a toad right now!
If that doesn't appeal to you, I could try to sear some grilled cheese sandwiches with tiny wrinkled-gnome Leo DeCaprio face images. Maybe I could sell them on Ebay and get enough money to buy more biking clothes!

Still laughing, Lisa S.H.,,

Originally Posted by Offthegrid

salsabike: Sorry to hear about Beeper. It is tough, especially to have to give subq fluids. I had a puppy who was born with defective kidneys and lost him at 10 months, so I know the pain that you are going through.

Aw, JEEZ. THAT is awful. 10 months is WAY too early. It does help to know that the Beeper's had a very good life. We did lose a very beloved cat at 1 1/2 years old. It's just not right.

The Beeper was livelier for a couple of days, and is now quiet again, so we're a little worried. But she will get her kidney values rechecked Monday and we'll see what next.

The weather here absolutely stinks. Rain, flooding. To use one of my most mature expressions, PU. Bleah.

Won a several-week-long argument with the skilled nursing facility to get Mom back on a restorative PT program. Scary. You really have to climb all over them to get their attention. Arggh!

I miss Mimitabby's kind heart, sharp thinking, and sunny approach to life. Hope she's having a great time in Italy.

I want a snake. Maybe after the house expansion is finished...

For those who haven't yet seen it, check out the Tyson on a skateboard thread. A dog of superior talents!

I went to a Personal Safety class last night at the Redmond Police Dept. Aside from the fact that the presenter was a totally adorable and VERY funny cop, it was really outstanding--practical, real, smart, good handout. At least some of it was based on Gavin De Becker's The Gift of Fear stuff.

So Mr. Salsa and I have decided to be a little badly behaved and are getting slab granite for the new master bathroom countertop. We are big rock hunters/collectors, after all, so it's hard for us to not get a good piece of rock (as opposed to tiles, which are cheaper but not as "rock-like"--can't see the big patterns in tiles). You get to go to warehouses and look at slabs and pick your own. Big fun. I DID tell you guys I was easily amused, didn't I? I'm sure we'll like debtor's prison...

**Trek420** · 11-09-2006, 08:06 PM

kelownagirl "Thanks for the wise advice and for allowing me to vent."

feel free to vent. And I really could not give advice, I'm just an armchair quarterback in this stuff. You're the one doing the hardest job in the world,

"PS Trek - why not charge her rent? Well, bit of a longer story but I really wanted her to go to university and I told her at one time that I couldn't afford to send her to school out of town but as long as she was in school, she could live here rent free."

OK, so...is she in school?

"My mom made that deal with me and it worked well. Of course, I didn't snarl at her and criticize her housekeeping..."

Snarl at my Mom? and live?

I know I was not and easy kid to raise and in some ways I put my parents through heck but the only time I EVER raised my voice at my Mom was....when last year she at 84 offered to help me in my epic struggle to lift my sisters POS comfort bike to the top of the roof rack I sternly told her I'd do it myself and .... imediately apologised.

I was afraid any help, change in balance I'd fall over backwards and hurt her.

The older I get the smarter my Mom is and as a child I frequently remember being told "your Matties kid? She's brilliant".

I've always respected my Mom. She's the orriginal supermom.

**kelownagirl** · 11-09-2006, 08:18 PM

Annie - I did talk to her. I am very disappointed and sad though. She refused to talk to me. I started by asking her nicely if there was anything bothering her (ie in her personal life) that was stressing her out or making her unhappy and angry. She responded by saying everything about living here bothered her. I asked again, besides being annoyed by dog hair and your brother I mean? -No, just that. I can't stand it here any more. I'm getting the h*ll out of here.

So now I figure I can't even do my rant about "while you're living here, for FREE, under MY roof you will treat me, my dogs, your brother with respect" thing, but I do anyway. She denies kicking the dog, claims she just pushed him aside with her leg as she walked by him (I didn't see it, son told me), so I don't push this one. I do continue to insist that she's had it very good here etc etc. She cuts me off, she doesn't want to talk about it. -Well I DO want to talk about it. -Don't bother, just go back upstairs, I'm going to be out of here is two days.

Well thanks so much. Thanks for paying for my education. Thanks for letting me live here for free for the past 8 months.... What a freaking slap in the face. How I can I have raised this child? I would SO not have ever talked to my mom like that. I just shook my head and walked away. Yes, it is time for you move out honey. I'm just sorry I didn't get to be the one to say it to her.

**annie** · 11-09-2006, 08:24 PM

Oh, wow, that is such a downer, Kelowna! I would feel the same as you do if one of my children talked to me that way. Well, you KNOW you've been a good parent and loved and cared for her. Sometimes there's no good explanation for how things turn out. I just feel bad for YOU, that you've got to deal with this. Maybe if she actually moves out and you don't have to interact with each other on a daily basis, things might actually get better. It sounds like she has some very large issues that she is not dealing with and she's taking it out on you. She knows you'll love her no matter what. If she leaves, she won't have you to turn on and maybe that will force her to handle whatever it is that's causing her to be so angry. Hard to say. I wish the best for you both.

annie

**snapdragen** · 11-09-2006, 08:30 PM

salsa - this isn't the free trip, this is another one

Gonna go see the Rolling Stones at MGM. My trip buddies also want to go over and hang out at the Rio - stalking Prince. We tried to get tickets to see him too, but alas, we failed.

kelowna - Have you tried "Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out"? I agree, it sounds like daughter has some issues. Hopefully she'll work them out and become human again.

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