Thread Drift

[Trek420]

Brina "I remember having this conversation with somebody no longer in my life. She learned we were pursuing treatment to conceive and she told me we should adopt. I asked her why she and herr dh were not adopting and her response was, "well we can have our own" Like that somehow exempted them from responsiblity."

owwwww, besides being insensitive I agree it also smacks of somehow that adopted kids are "not your own"

".....I have seen many, many situations where the biological mother is given chance after chance to prove that she has cleaned up her act.....then the bio mother manages to convince a judge and a social worker that this time she really is clean for good and the child gets "returned""

I agree again, I think more would adopt if it was easier here and if they did not fear that the adoption could be reversed, delayed...a good friend adopted and orphan from China and no, I don't know if fertility conditions had anything to do with it.

Their daughter is the light of their life. Part of his decision was that they could do so easier than one from here with less of a wait.

My concern is more just getting kids out of foster care system.

After a tour of this good organisation I learned it's a huge problem.

http://www.lincolncc.org

Many foster care parents do a great job, some of these kids do get adopted but then at 18 ... when foster care no longer pays these kids are basicly turned loose.

By this point they may have been in the system for years, the situation that got them there has not been resolved, they may have been passed from house to house.

I had great parents, loving supportive educated family and how hard was being 18??

Imagine how it is for those kids? what happens to them? Well, many end up in jail for one thing.

I don't think we each have to take a kid or even each have to adopt a dog from the pound I hope you are able to have your child the way you want and/or find a way to use and express the nurturing energy you have in other ways.

But as a society we have to care and think about what is the solution?

Ultimately these are all our kids.