Thread Drift

[mimitabby]

Don't they realize that only straight people have unintended pregnancies under bad circumstances? When gay couples go to the trouble and expense of having children, it's because they want them and love them. Sorry to go off on this topic, but I have two wonderful newphews with two mothers who are some of the best parents I have ever seen. And I got to see the 2 1/2 month old smile on Friday evening and help give them both their baths.

Wow, that's a great point!

It's almost 7am and it's still dark here.

I guess I'll go eat breakfast, been up since 530 and i'm hungry. I am going to manage to fit in a little bike ride i think. o darn. Hubby has my helmet in his car!!

I am going to the bike shop to pick something up for another secret friend.

[Trek420]

Queen, aren't you in the social services folks who should know better industry? And this scum works there too? Who let her in? this must drive you batty.

Reminds me somewhat of my ex's sister, her nogoodnic husband was in jail more than out, only getting out long enough to father another kid....then right back in jail on drug charges. And ..... she would take her kids out of school to go visit him. Excuse me? Kids should not miss school unless this is considered part of their education ("kids stay in school and graduate or you'll end up like Dad here").

Postscript though not in touch with my ex I know that at least the oldest two did just that, graduated high school and now at least getting some college. Heh, maybe it worked.

And in the best interest of the children our team (How'd I forgot to have kids? ) can't have children?

DebW is right, pretty much no unplanned pregnancy on our team, these kids are planned and wanted.

The other thing that bugs me no end is every time I see some new fertility technology in the news. Just because you're infertile you still would make fine parents I'm sure.

If you just can't have kids ..... please adopt!!!

There are so many kids in foster care need a good home. Hats off to any adoptive parents out there.

I've been involved in the corporate grand pooh bah employee charitable giving campaigns a few years running and last year we were going around doing presentations in some of the offices. We had a speaker from the Black Adoption Agency (which kept their orriginal name but doesn't just do adoption and not just Black kids, they advocate for all kids in foster care system).

So we're at this garage of AT&T techs, these big tough guys (and a couple of gals) with their tool belts looking bored while the speaker's talking about the need for adoption. Till one of the techs says:
"sure, give me two"
"huh?"
"give me two kids, any two"

He wasn't kidding, there wasn't a dry eye in the house Other techs there decided on the spot to volunteer to take kids to games, do the big brother/big sister thing.

If I do nothing else at work .... ever, I've done that. Helped to put those two kids together with a good Mom & Dad. Though kind of laughing imagining the conversation when he got home "you're getting us WHAT?!! Couldn't you just increase your pre-tax charitable deduction?". But I hear it went well.

Queen, how're the other two kids doing? How old are they? Are the grandparents involved?

[Aggie_Ama]

Ladies, you don't know how many times we have had this same rant at work. I have a wonderful coworker who is a lesbian and her partner would love for them to have children. They are an amazing couple, when I met them they were raising her (my co-worker) god children. The mother was a drug user, in fact she used while pregnant. They had the girls since birth and took on ones expensive medical issues without a second thought. The biological mom got mad when my co-worker turned her in and her grandparents took the kids away. I am not sure what the legal background was, but the kids are gone.

We also had a colorful debate about a co-worker who suggested he was going to marry his friend for football tickets. How insensitive when our other co-worker wants just to be viewed as a married woman like everyone else. Not to mention I put a lot of thought into the commitment of marriage and "we'll just get it annulled" didn't sit well with me.

My father was adopted at 7. Now days he would probably be a lost cause, doomed to a life of foster care. Instead he grew up middle class, loved and well taken care of. I bawled like a baby when I found out my best friend's mom decided to adopt a little boy that was 7. Two years later she adopted a little girl that was 5.

[Trek420]

Aggie_Ama "We also had a colorful debate about a co-worker who suggested he was going to marry his friend for football tickets."

must_resist_the_wisecrack, at risk of closing TE TD ahh, we must protect the value of marriage.

Of course all depends on which football team and for which seats?

[margo49]

It is unbelievable what people will permit themslves to say about other people who "should not be allowed to be having kids"
My personal experience of this is around racism and "keeping the race pure". The stuff we have been told ( both from people who consider themselves liberal and educated as well as people who consider themselves upholders of family values and tradition) makes my blood boil. Especially since over the years so many these so-called normal, healthy,worthy people have split up and/or messed up their kids to the point where it is actually *us* who are the actual (de facto) upholders of "family values" like a stable loving relationship, shared family meals and education in "moral values" (basic ones like honesty and helping others).

Struck a nerve there Queen and the rest of you.
Going away for a little sniffle over past hurts....

[Aggie_Ama]

Aggie_Ama "We also had a colorful debate about a co-worker who suggested he was going to marry his friend for football tickets."

must_resist_the_wisecrack, at risk of closing TE TD ahh, we must protect the value of marriage.

Of course all depends on which football team and for which seats?

Well he wanted to get married to his female friend in Vegas to get student tickets to UT football. He then declared "we would just get it annulled and say we were drunk." I just thought it was childish and no one should enter any marriage, contract, relationship so recklessly. My co-worker agreed. And of course I have no desire to see longhorn football, so it seemed even worse of a reason.

[Kitsune06]

I'm probably going to have an odd bunch of thoughts to throw in here, but I'm good at 'odd' and maybe playing devil's advocate a little. One of my friends and her partner have a son who's about 2 and a half, the friend is a pretty well-known drug dealer and will say in the most awkward places "I can get about anything for anyone." and does business in her living room. The son was an 'accident' from the last evening her partner was with her ex (astounding how those things happen). I'm unsure of how that's going to work out.
They also have friends, lesbians, partners, who have a 7 year old son. Here is my concern. He has no real male rolemodel and he's *so sure* that men are 2nd class citizens, and that women are "perfect cuz they can do everything" that he's starting to have huge problems with his male-ness. I'm not sure if that's a stage or not, and I know gender confusion happens at an early age for a lot of kids (that's why we have transgender folks...) but I can't help but wonder.
Then there's also my ex. Dad was a great male rolemodel. He (ex) was practically raised by Mom and his lesbian "aunts" while Dad worked his butt off at work and school. Ex came out very sensitive, very knowledgeable about 'women things' and very well-centered as a guy, too.
I think homosexual folks can be great parents as long as there's consideration given toward a child's mental development. Male children, I think, need a positive male rolemodel to show them that men can be strong and sensitive- they can do everything women can do (well, almost). and I think girl children need a male influence too, just because there are studies that say a girl's relationship to her father will speak volumes about her future relationships with men. Try as we might, ladies, we might just end up having straight children!
It's because of this degree of difficulty, the amount of effort and coordination, (and the fact that no, most people won't want to put that much work into it) that it's generally accepted as a 'bad idea' for two people of the same gender to have a child, at least in such early developmental stages.
That said, I've told DGF "Hey, if we can adopt once they're out of diapers, I'm good."
She says no. :P
Hence my effort to be on better terms with my ex, also... he's a very intelligent guy, and would probably be a great role model (some day...)

[KnottedYet]

I'm staying out of this.

TD is kind of our little private playground, but there are others who read this too. I'd hate to see TD shut down over trouble like my signature line caused.

[Trek420]

la la la la la....food, wine, turtles, snakes, chocolate, Lises dates .....

Knotted, weren't you headed out to church?

I just stubbed my toe on the table.

[KnottedYet]

put some ice on it.

(the toe, not the table )

[winddance]

I'm planning my first ride in 5 weeks for next weekend. I've been sick for the past month. Cold, flu, sinus infection...

[Trek420]

winndance, hope you feel better soon.

what does "matchy matchy" mean? is that because your socks, match the bike, matches the valve caps, matches....

knot, too late, ice is on the table.

[snapdragen]

There are good and bad parents in both camps - let's not polarize TD with this discussion and get it shut down - m'kay?

Chloe and I took a 1.5 mile walk today. She is truly an insane dog. Walking across a wooden foot bridge scares her. So, we come to a part of the sidewalk, where an iron fence is making shadows on the cement. She doesn't want to walk there. Then I realize, she thinks the shadow lines are wooden slats, like on the bridge. She's pretty, but kinda dumb in some ways.

Scary shadows!!


Scary bridge!!

[Bikingmomof3]

kelownagirl -cool terrarium.

Fredwina- As much as I enjoyed Hugh Laurie in the Black Adder series, I preferred him as Bertie Wooster.

Salsa- The wedding Kimono has such a brilliant history. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Lise- How was dinner? I think your email was very well written. Do let us know how the Chicago marathon was.

Knot-you men I missed a controversial sig line. Drat!

Trek-I am sorry about your toe, I hope the ice is helping the table feel better.

Winddance-feel better soon.

I am going to cuddle up under a quilt and nap with my cat, then go for a run. I feel a cold coming on and hope the extra sleep will help.

[Bikingmomof3]

Chloe and I took a 1.5 mile walk today. She is truly an insane dog. Walking across a wooden foot bridge scares her. So, we come to a part of the sidewalk, where an iron fence is making shadows on the cement. She doesn't want to walk there. Then I realize, she thinks the shadow lines are wooden slats, like on the bridge. She's pretty, but kinda dumb in some ways.

I am a lot like Chloe. I am not fond of any bridges, let alone those I can see through. I am terrified of heights!