Really, honestly, I don't think any of the women here are the sorts to "never say no" etc. Biking etc are sports of discipline, and a woman with discipline tends to pass it on, consciously or not, to her kids.

(There were a bunch of things I was going to add to this thread as I thought about it today.)

I guess the 1st is that some kids really need special attention. I think most parents do the best they can with what they know- the trouble is, too many parents are kids themselves. It's a pity that biology makes it harder for people in their mid to late 30s to have kids, because I think by then you have a better idea of what's going on than in your 20s. This is mostly wishful thinking, though. My little sister had the same sort of parenting early on that I did. I was a sensitive kid and took a lot of things to heart. Mom needed just give me *the look* and I'd stop, and feel *bad*. My sis, on the other hand, was eventually diagnosed with "ODD" (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). Spanking did nothing, Verbal repremands did nothing, time-outs did nothing. It makes me sad to say that when I told my dad that I was upset because she got away with far more than I ever could, he told me "That's because we still have expectations for you." But I know they did the best they could.

The 2nd is that maybe I came off as harsh saying "Don't teach your kids with guilt". Honestly, I'm pretty sure that kits are ego-centrically minded until at least 8. The world revolves around them, and rightly so, because while they're busy developing and taking in all the new things around them, there's just too much to do to try to think about someone *else*, too, yet. Mindfulness of others comes into play later, when they begin to socially develop, and that can be anywhere from 8-12 (or later) (I think some people never get to that stage...)

3rd, Debw: It's called vasclip. and after living in all the little rural burbs I have, and hearing all the "She's a Sr. in high school and she and her BF had an accident, etc etc" stories I have... I'm SO with you on that.
Conservatives say "The government's trying to save people from themselves!"
...if people weren't so effing stupid, they wouldn't need saving.
and, fwiw, most of the kids who had accidents, that I know of, had strict 'family values'. the hippyish kids had already heard of the importance of b/c.