Dear Cat

[Owlie]

Dear Isis,
Why did you have to wake me up this morning by trying to stick all four sets of claws into my scalp? What does that accomplish other than a pissed-off human and a scared kitty?

Also, stop eating cardboard. It's not good for your digestive system. You don't think wet cat food is actually food, and yet you think cardboard is food?
And for the record, I'm clipping your claws, not trying to cut off your toes. You don't need to wail like that. Besides, you get treats afterward! Aren't treats great?

Mom