Dear Right Thumb,

You have been infected for 3 weeks and I've taken good care of you. I appreciate that you aren't causing me much pain, I really do. However, when the Keflex didn't cure you, I figured the Sulfa they prescribed would work better than it has, AND I've even been soaking you regularly to draw stuff out of you. I even kept you all bandaged and protected when living at the hospital this week, given the dangerous nature of those places.

I would prefer to spend my last day off before returning to the office on the mountain bike, not spending my gas money for a visit to the doctor.

Please be much better in the morning so I can go play in the dirt with my mountain goat.

Thank you

Catrin