Well the results are back and they are not so good. In addition to the calcifications indicative of Ductal Carcinoma Insitu ( non invasive breast cancer) they found some areas of a "atypical cellular structures" which means something else, not positive .

My options are for them to whack another piece out and then follow up with radiation therapy, or to just go ahead and have a masectomy on one side and continue with the tamoxifen to protect the other side, keeping my fingers crossed.

I will more than likely have the masectomy although my sag guy is not entranced with the idea, but is quick to say that it is my choice and he married me for myself, not my body.

I am slated to do the little red riding hood ride in June with my three sisters in june and since the dr. says that although the decision needs to be made, preferably sooner rather than later, she is not worried about waiting a couple of months, that it is not about to run amuck, it's just another atypical result that I need to deal with.

I am releasing/venting/ dithering here because I can't yet dither to anyone other than DH and that makes me tense. I am thinking not be telling my sisters until after the ride at least because I don't want that weekend to turn into a pity party but at the same time I sure would like some sympathetic ears and shoulders. What would you do?

I will be telling my children about the probability of the surgery, since they pretty much know that something is going on but I am in a real dither about my sisters. We are very close, and we all vowed (after my mothers open heart surgery which she hadn't told us about until 24 hours ahead of time and then only because the sister still living at home, broke her promise and called us) that we would employ full disclosure at all times, but....... I think I will be swinging back and forth between ignoring it and obsessing about it and being grimly upbeat so as not to worry dh and fil who lives with use, that I won't be any good with dealing with anything but objective listening and quiet non emotional support until after the fact and I know the "sistahs" will all want to support and surround before and after. Dither Dither Dither what to do what to do?

It's not even like my ta tas are that big- small fried egg size, so I don't foresee any problems to adapting to being one sided, and the other side seems to be blissfully clear so fingers crossed on that issue. Obviously I have very very mixed emotions about it all.

Anyway, we can all relax the wheel spinning until June and then I would really appreciate some really really active wheel spinning and positive thoughts.