Dear So and So

[indysteel]

Dear Dad,

I suppose it's just swell that you want to help your dysfunctional daughter through yet another of her crises. That's awfully fatherly of you, but she's not a part of my life for a reason, so it's irritating when you call me repeatedly for guidance as to her latest bankruptcy case. Given that's my expertise, however, I am willing to help, so that's not what's bugging me.

What's most upsetting me is that it's the only reason you ever even call me. You never call just to talk to me about me. It's always been pretty obvious that you and mom only really pay attention when there's a crisis. And because I rarely, if ever, have a crisis, guess who doesn't ever get any attention?

Now I wouldn't trade my relatively sane life for anything, but it would be nice if recognized in your advancing years how much you've played into your elder daughter's emotional problems by enabling and encouraging her behavior. I will not stoop to her level, however, just to get your attention.

I thought about calling you back last night and telling you how hurtful your lack of attention is, but really, what's the point? I'll just talk to my therapist about it. Again. And get a hug from Brian. For better or for worse, I'm beyond letting you know that I actually need you. It just hurts to much to tell you that and to still be ignored. You'd probably take it okay, but Mom would see it as yet another opportunity to tell me that she's just never felt like I wanted a mother. That so turns parenting on its ear and distorts our family's history; I'm not going to go there again.

So have fun with the time and energy suck that is my sister. Let me know where it gets you.