Insulting compliments

[Deborajen]

This is a good thread.--

Last fall, I was running in a 5K Mayor's Challenge. Our Mayor decided in April to commit to a healthier lifestyle - exercise, better eating habits, etc. - and he challenged anyone to beat him at a 5K race in October. So I'm running along at the back of the pack and at about mile 1 (or 1K, I don't recall) I ended up passing the mayor. We were the only two people for a big stretch so I felt like I had to say something. So I told him "you're doing great!" He said "I think they lengthened the course!" So I said "find a good pace and keep at it - you'll get there." Ever since, I wondered how that must have sounded - to be passed by some woman and being told he's "doing great." I'm almost never the one doing the passing. I wanted to be a good sport and offer some encouragement, you know? I admire the man. It takes a lot of courage for a 50-year-old, kind of overweight man to announce to an entire city that he's going to be more healthy and then show his commitment by running a 5K 5 months later. But what an awkward time to try to come up with some profound words. He seemed to be pretty good-natured about the whole event - after the race he was posing for pictures with people who had "I Beat the Mayor" t-shirts.

On the other hand, I got passed during my first group bike ride and got a good laugh out of what was said. It was about half way through a 50-mile ride and I was bonking - bad. I was riding up an obnoxious little hill and a couple of middle-aged men (my age) passed me. They both smiled and one of them said, "you're setting a good pace for us." I think I was going about 6 mph and thought I'd tip over at any moment but, well, I was ahead of them! So it struck me as really funny. I said, "I think I'm about whipped" -- so they told me to hang in there.--

I guess my point is I think most people are trying to be good sports when they say something as they pass - and sometimes it sounds that way and sometimes it doesn't.