Wow, I wish I had read this thread a couple days ago. I've been looking for advice on how to get faster, because my BF finally got faster than me and it just makes me insane. I really needed to be better than him at something. Why? Because I'm insecure!

I got some great tips, and I know I can get faster. But I understand now that what was really pissing me off were his comments. He'd pull away, then wait for me and say something like, "How are you feeling today?" Sounds innocent, but he never asks that when I'm in front! Or, "Are you staying hydrated?" Gee, thanks for caring. Yes, I know how to take care of myself. I.e. I'm not a newbie, at least not compared to him.

But, relationship issues aside (and yes I'm considering couples counseling,) I really do get how a compliment or encouragement can feel like an insult. And it has alot to do with the stereotypical images we all carry around about what an athlete looks like. I sure don't look like one. More than once, when I've gone shopping for running shoes or some other athletic gear, the clerk has asked, "Is this for you?" Assuming, perhaps, that I'm shopping for a family member?

But we're all only human, and it's human to sort information into categories to try to make sense of it. Hence, stereotypes. My own best friend "forgot" that I had run for years, including a marathon, and introduced me to another friend as a new runner at an event. Not much we can do, except speak our truth when we can, and forgive our fellow humans!