You are not alone. My DH and I have been married for 9 years, together for 13. This is a second marriage for both of us. I love him - he is my partner and best friend.

There are times, sometimes extended, however, when I don't really like him. There are days when I fantasize about being on my own again, living life MY way and not being responsible to anyone else. In fact, we are in one of those times right now, and I'm not sure what instigated it exactly. We also don't communicate about it, but the tension is often palpable.

I know, however, that this will turn itself around, and we will end up back in a happy place - excited to be together. There won't be a specific turning point either - it will just happen.

I, too, have wondered if this up and down cycle stems from depression. You definitely need someone to talk to, and a professional is a great place to start.

Best wishes to you as you work through this. And vent here as much as you like - it has helped me often to see that I am not alone.

SheFly