Pyannyplayer gives very good advice on the Area Agency on Aging. Go talk to them!!

Did I read in one of these that your MIL lives 300 yards away? Can you possibly walk there to incorporate exercise (and relieve stress)?

Some grocery stores offer delivery service, like Pea Pod. You order groceries on line and they deliver them for a small fee. DO THIS--for you and for your MIL!

Speaking of the MIL, sounds like she's isolated and depressed. Area Agency on Aging will have resources to deal with this--activities, support, etc.

Schedules are very important in running a household. Everyone (DH included) should have their schedules posted somewhere central. That way, you know their schedule, and THEY KNOW YOURS! Make an appointment with yourself every day, and keep that appointment. It's very rude to break appointments, you know .

And if your house isn't perfect, so what? Ask yourself that alot: SO WHAT? If it's important, it will matter. If it's not, it won't.

Where to begin with DS? Start with a family meeting. You call the meeting, you set the agenda, you run the meeting. DS can help with laundry (certainly his own) and helping out with cooking and cleaning, mowing the lawn, trash. Be specific--expectations should be clear. He can help you cook, and in this way he learns how to cook. If he doesn't cut the carrots just so...SO WHAT!

It sounds like your DH does work very hard at his job, but he also is a part of your family. I actually enjoy the post-dinner cleanup with my partner because it gives us some time to talk.

Okay, I have one more question. Why are you still a SAHM when your DS is 13? Everyone has their own reasons, of course, but the main one that I always hear is, "to raise my kids." But your kid is in school most of the day, and is old enough to not need constant mother-presence. Going back to work may not be what you want to do, but if you could (and the MIL had some other support and the DS did chores), would you WANT to? Just a question.