You know, instead of just feeling sorry for yourself you have to make an announcement to your whole family:

from 3-5 pm m-f I AM NOT AVAILABLE.
I will no longer do x, y and z
(my sons were in charge of their own laundry from age 8 upwards)
(since i got tired of hearing about how kids tossed their lunches at school, ours started making their own the night before from the age of 6 on up)
These things aren't really big time savers but it teaches them to take care of themselves.

You have to let go of that stuff. and you need to take care and assert yourself.

You are way wrong when you say it is women... who are letting themselves be walked all over by being caretakers and enablers. Men do it too. HOWEVER, it doesn't mean YOU have to keep doing it.

Don't wait until you are in the hospital awaiting a triple bypass. It's YOUR life, what do you want it to be like?

STAND UP for YOU. if you don't do this, your children will treat their future wives the same way... YOU have to teach by example.