Sounds like Georgia, your DH does alot of cycling on his own, so something can always be worked out so he gets his fast workout on his own and joins you separately on a different ride.

In reading this whole thread, makes me realize how symbiotic my cycling competence and development has evolved in relation to my partner who is stronger cycling-wise..over nearly the past 17 yrs. In fact, I started off knowing him with cycling at the start of our relationship but neither of us never knew that the other had a cycling interest in the lst 6 months of knowing each other.

He is by nature, a patient person. From the beginning, he always went off on his own fitness rides. Then at a different time, he would join up with me for a ride where he had to ride and wait for me along the way. He tried to teach me gearing, but I actually didn't get it in my head...until I joined a women's cycling group.

By nature, both he and I are, each friendly hermits. We like to each do our own thing, but like to share doing other shared actitivities also. From the beginning of returning to cycling (31), I always enjoyed doing some solo rides....after he showed me on bike, cycling routes that I wanted to do on my own if he wasn't around to be with me due to our personal schedules.

I've had my flats, etc. and no, am not the most mechanical ...even after attending women's workshops on fixing bike flats, etc...so I have accepted responsibility for myself when this happens when I'm alone on bike and just....walk home or throw the bike onto bus or subway homeward. We don't have a car, so I can't phone him to pick me up. That's ok. I've lived a car-free life for so long even before him. I use bike shops for repairs that he doesn't feel well-versed on certain problems.

I don't depend on him for cycling...after all, he and I lived in 2 different cities for 2.5 years of our relationship when he was forced to relocated. Each of us continued to cycle solo...and every evening we phoned each other...to also include our cycling adventures of the day.

Become strong on the bike yourself...it will carry you far as life moves ahead, changes and you will enjoy riding more with others who have different/better cycling competencies in group rides.