it's a toughie.

First of all, while I completely understand why you feel guilty, I do think you have a right to take care of yourself and your relationship with your husband, and sometimes that means taking time for yourselves.

Secondly, I know this is a huge financial decision and I don't know if your niece's health would preclude it, but if you are really feeling heartsick about this, you could consider the possibility of offering the vacation to your sister & her husband. Not sure if the pleasure of giving them healing time would offset the loss of that time for you and your husband... only you will know that.

I'm always hesitant to respond to these sorts of questions because I'm always afraid I will say something that comes across the wrong way, in a way I don't mean, and I will offend someone, so please realize that I am very sympathetic to your situation and am not passing judgement about any decision you might make, and if something I say sounds like I am, it's just clumsiness on my part.

Make sure you are taking care of yourself and realize that you are being a very good sister.

Edit: Mr Silver and Flybye are faster typists than I am! I really like what Flybye said.