So I decided to not get discouraged. I realized there has to be some level of riding at which I can feel completely free. Its probably not going to be at working every day to get to 20mph. I would have to give up so much else to do it, and at that point, would I really be enjoying life?
I also realized I'm not going to feel free at not trying either. Giving up will not make me happy either.

So I went home last night, made my dinner and left it on the stove. Got on my bike and went out a rode one of the longest, steepest hills around me. Took my 5.5 minutes to go from bottom to top, and my heart rate got up to 191, which I believe is one beat from my max.

Then I did it again.